Facebook can connect you to your friends from the different part of the world. This is a big “yes yes” to one of the largest e-sites. But Facebook’s advantage doesn’t stop there. It also connects you to your friends’ “howe,” as my Chinese students call them, even if you don’t want to meet them—and this irks me.

It has been quite a long while since I had a decent contact with some of my highschool classmates. Thanks to interactive sites, I can manage to drop them a message or two and see how they have been getting along. Once, I posted a comment about a high school classmate’s profile picture. Lo and behold! Someone retorted with “wag mong awayin ang baby ko.” Suffice it to say that I was stunned for some minutes; I didn’t know how to react. All I know is the girl got into my nerves (obviously).

I just can’t see her point in butting into some other people’s business. The big question is who she is anyway. Was I even talking to her? As far as I can remember, I posted the comment on His wall, not on Hers. Was I even ridiculing my high school classmate? Didn’t I know my limitations of how much I can joke around with him?

Fine. She wants me to know that this guy is her boyfriend already. But why? I wasn’t even thinking of asking him to be MY boyfriend.

I don’t care if she’s the girlfriend and she knows him better than I do but I knew him first. And I am certainly not in the mood to know a jejemonic girl who doesn’t do anything but to check on her boyfriend’s facebook wall.

I was about to respond with “???? Sino ka????” or “ was I asking if you were his boo” but I stopped myself. Doing so would earn me a bad shot.

My only concern is, how many girls like her would I meet in facebook? Are they many? Are they as vicious, as obsessive, as possessive?

For the mean time, I rest my case.

what is the most important sound for you?

for me the most important sound is the sound of breathing. It's a significant proof of living.

My list of reasons that old friends are better than new ones

• as any of my lists, this list would probably be longer than intended no matter how few i put on this page for now. Whoever wants to include something to the list may post contributions on the "comments" portion. You will be properly acknowledged. thanks. 

• 1 assuming a new personality is NOT needed—and it works both ways. I don’t need to “change” since they think it’s crappy. They don’t need to because I think it’s funny. Both ways, we don’t have to put on effort and airs to conceal how stinky we smell in the morning or how we like our green mangoes with soy sauce and sugar.

• 2 telling the most confidential and most intriguing thought is NOT as embarrassing at it seems—because they have worse things in their heads. We don’t need to cover our faces to hide our surprise, our shock, our disappointment. Hiding these things is a bigger crime to friendship as they say. Let’s say for example, they talk about the absurdity of morality and sex and I choose to sulk in a corner. They just laugh my incapacity to participate in their intellectual talk. Even, they scowl at me, thinking that I am too close-minded to accept the fact that they are all liberated.

• 3 planning to meet again is NOT as vague as it sounds—we can go anywhere and anytime we feel like it. Sometimes, the more we plan the lesser the chance for us to see again. “we are just a text a way,” materializes whenever we go out. My recent hang-out with some university friends happened through Facebook. Without a plan. Without even a good budget.

• 4 Going somewhere is NOT really a question—Old friends don’t laugh when I suddenly want to go to Manila Bay. Or a Karaoke bar. Or even just a small-time canteen. New friends sometimes find excuses that they have to go somewhere or they simply don’t have money. 

killing My Antonia

I have just finished Willa Cather’s My Antonia, a highly recommended book in my Masters’ Degree. It is not as beautiful as I thought it was. Give it to those who had the time to analyze the book.

One reason I see is I don’t see Antonia as a heroine. Her character is strongly built up from the start of the book. I am really disappointed that she doesn’t end up being successful. The one who has analyzed it in one of my classes shared that the perception of being successful is being happy and contented in life which Antonia “clearly” embodies.

 My problem is I can’t see in anyway how having a poor life in Nebraska and having many children can be a measurement of success. Sure, she is happy. Sure her family loves her. But wouldn’t it be better if she would have money to spend on good clothes, quality education, and sufficient food? Yes, this is a modern and quite materialistic view of things. But happiness surely can’t feed hungry stomachs. If it could, then we shouldn’t have culprits.

The other reason is the style. Perhaps I am more into the fast-paced straight to the point story of Arthur Conan Doyle and Jack London. Perhaps I should learn more about stylistics and appreciate the beauty of local color and the likes. Nah.

The third reason is,….actually this is not as a good reason as I think it is. I am frustrated that Jim Burden and Antonia Shimerda don’t end up with each other no matter how I read the book. They end up being friends. You say I’m quite being romantic but hey, The  voice of the story somehow hints romance between them and ofcourse I expected that at the end they would be together. But no.

I am aware that this is a very unprofessional book review. Immature for a Literature student. But I am not going to pretend that I like the book even for a single bit. I’ll give it 20% because od the characters’ behaviors though. But as I was saying, I don’t want to make myself believe that I appreciate the book because like what I have read from C.S. Lewis’ Narnia, (poorly rephrased though—haven’t the knack yet to accurately say lines from books) “human beings have the knack of believing a lie they have made themselves to believe.” The sad thing is they believe in that lie until they die. And I don’t want to die lying against myself because of a book. And a boring book at that.

...

I have already sighed for the nth time and i am sighing once more. It's the only thing I can do without inflicting pain to anyone but myself.

hold up

I honestly don’t have any idea how I would best describe the horror I felt this Wednesday, 5 May. I don’t even have a clue on how fast things went that time. All I am sure is, I have a paranoia in riding a jeepney now specially at the wee hours of the morning.

But let me blabber for awhile. I hope I could see things straight.

I have just recently disclosed to some of my friends that I didn’t have blog or journal posts in May these past few years. I am thinking that may be God is giving me reasons to break that habit of consciously and subconsciously blotting May out of my calendar.

It could have been that I didn’t say my prayers that day…or that I didn’t go to the church last Sunday. Or is it because of the unusual schedule of my summer job. Or probably I was at the wrong jeepney at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

Or whatever.

I was completely startled when I saw a gun pointed at me.

And I thought it was all a joke.