When Students are Away...

...the teachers play!

Plain and Simple

I'm fond of makeup. I think I am already at the point of my life when I see the necessity of putting makeup on particularly when I go to work and go out with my boyfriend. There are times however that I find it difficult to decide whether I should or not. One instance is going to Philippine Normal University for my Masters. Should I try to look more mature or should I just look simple? Another is hanging out with my friends. Should I start impressing them or should I just look like the way I normally do?

with the slightest hint of makeup on

I am only thankful that I look great even without makeup...but a little enhancement does great things, you know...

determination

A friend told me I was right to go for what I wanted.

Another told me that I was stupid. I should have stuck to my pride.

Whatever it is, I am happy with my decision.

Who is to say what is good for someone else? Who says that everything works in the same way they experienced it?

Isn't it better to go for what you want as long as it makes you happy?

All I knew back then was I was sad when he was gone and so I wanted him near. There is nothing wrong in getting what I want as long as I deserve it. I deserve him and he deserves me.

As long as I want him, the whole universe will conspire to make us one. And I will see to it that it'll happen.

Savoring the Pain of Heartbreak

“I’m smiling but I’m dying, trying not to drag my feet…” The Script, Nothing

I was one of the Masters of Ceremony in our school assembly. I also needed to manage the WCC Music Club. I tried not to look stressed. I tried not thinking about it. In the deepest recesses of my heart, I knew I couldn’t.

How could I easily break a one-year habit of texting him ‘good morning’? How could I keep myself from wishing him goodnight when it used to be a routine? How could I suddenly cut ties with a person I fell so deeply in love with?

How could he do so much without me?

I even wore a pink dress today…

I tried to smile…

I tried to be happy…

I tried to shrug it off…

But the pain kept on haunting me. The toughest ones came at night when I had to think of how to get through another day without him.

It was hard to breathe.

I only had sleep to numb me and my dreams to keep me from falling apart. If I could, I would stay in those dreams where I could cuddle in his arms and forget everything but him. But I know those dreams could only prepare me for an even tougher pain that the next day has to offer. Nothing more.

I will only have to keep on smiling until I die inside.

On a Jetplane II

It is our 10th month.

It would not have mattered had he stayed in Manila. We don't usually celebrate monthsaries anyway. When we do, we have post or pre monthsary celebration

What made this day different is he is in Cagayan , working. It is the first time we spent our day too far from one another. I cannot go to him when I miss him. He cannot console me with a hug when I have my petty whims.

I know it should not be a big deal.

It is not a big deal because when comes back we will see Avengers with our friends.

The day has gone well. I was not in the airport to send him off but he updated me of his whereabouts through texts. He even called to assure me he would be all right.

As I am typing this entry, he is fixing computers for GMA Network-Cagayan. He is having a good time and I am having my own share of happiness.

Still, this day would have been better.

Happy 10th monthsary, Joe Kerr.

Lesson 1: Back to Basics

Haughty and naughty students who don't like to be reprimanded usually think that they can just treat teachers as people who only work in order to feed themselves and their family members. They think that the lives of their professors lie in their hands. What is worse is they make us, teachers, look stupid. These notions are a crap if not ridiculous. One thing students often forget is why they call their professors, instructors, and proctors 'teachers.'

Perhaps, some examples can enlighten their deprived minds.

We can inspire and motivate people who already have goals in their lives. We only need to nourish these goals, and help our students go to the right path. Flexible that we are, we can do this in our out of the academe. Teachers can go to different schools. As long as we have our license we can teach anywhere. And even without license, we can venture into other jobs. We can go to call centers, or even become event’s organizers. On the other hand, students, once kicked out, can never go to any. It will take a long time for them to get their act together and start anew. There are exemptions to this of course but they are scanty otherwise nobody will go to school anymore.

Second reason that students must be on their toes is there are many students in the world who deserve the instructors' best efforts. We don't like wasted effort-nobody likes it in the first place. I, for one, don't bother myself caring for those who do not want to help themselves. I rather be stuck with bookworms who forsake their lunches for good reads than teach those who make my blood boil. I rather comfort below-average students who still follow my instructions than those who think they are high and mighty. The point is, if some students don’t like listening and participating in our class discussions, the teachers only need to interact with those who show interest in learning. We will not forsake those who depend on us. We are neither caregivers nor nannies who follow their bosses around. We make Bosses.

Lastly, one of the reasons we are called teachers is we have gone through series of studies and tests which not all students can go through. Students can't even pass regular quizzes, how much more a nationally standardized examination. Giving us alibis for their violation of classroom regulation is an insult to our intellect. Trying to pit their pride against our pride is a mismatched challenge because we belong in a different level.

It is high time that these irresponsible students know who they fight against. We are not ordinary persons who wear stifling clothes to look formal, makeup to look older, high-heeled shoes to look respectable. We have already succeeded our trials in order for us to be where we are right now. A challenge coming from a stray batch of school sheep is but an ordinary case for us that we are willing to take any time of the day—except when we are at home, that is—knowing and believing that in a school, there are more students who are willing to learn than those who throw their lives and their parents’ toil away.

We are not only teachers. We are Professional Teachers and it takes more than just a bunch of rowdy kids to take this title away from us. 

2011 Top Ear Candies

It has been awhile since I have written something about the songs I listen to. It is just appropriate that before the year ends, I must share those which have made most of my days, and accompanied me through my ups and downs--my 2011 playlist.

10th Departure & Gather (PoT official soundtracks). In the first quarter of 2011, I was addicted to Prince of Tennis. Along with my friends I made up worlds filled with the characters that we liked best and publish them in Fanfiction.net. I used to write fanfics while listening to these songs along with the rest of the tracks from the voice actors of the anime.

9th I Hate You & Ugly (2ne1). In Kpop I am quite YG biased and it all started with Bigbang. I  may not call myself a real Blackjack but one thing I know is I like the songs coming from this group. They have enough spunk and girl power. Though I can only understand bits and pieces of these songs, I can pretty much just settle with the melody.

8th Hands Up (Bigbang). Speaking of YG-biased. I like both Korean and Japanese versions of this song. Every time I listen to this, I feel like having my own concert.

7th Good Day (IU). I find this girl cute. The music video is also cute. I have this funny feeling though that she can be a good substitute for a missing SNSD member any time. But that is just me. The song has a nice feel to it, even though the message is quite sad. It helps that it is not English and I just have to imagine it is a very happy song. I like the bridge part best.

6th Head Over Feet (Alanis Morisette). This song speaks so much about how I started falling in love with the man I see myself growing old with.  It took me years to appreciate this song in its entirety. Now I know that feeling as if the song was written for me or could have been composed by me. Hehe.

5th For Good- (Wicked). "Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun...Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood...who can say if I have been changed for the better but because I knew you...I have been changed for good."  I was in the church when I first heard this song performed then by a member of the music team. Then, Simon recommended the musical Wicked and I found out that this song was a part of it. As soon as I got a copy of the song, I kept on playing it. It's quite addictive particularly if I want to feel lonely (sometimes people like me 'want' to feel lonely, believe it or not). I feel like crying every time I wholeheartedly listen to it while thinking of my beau. Hehe.

4th You Can Count on Me (Default). Since I am using his phone, I get to listen to his playlist and one of the tracks is this. I like it, being alternative/grunge. The lyrics is quite mushy but the melody tones it down. It is one of the songs that I sing to him.

3rd I Believe (Fantasia). I haven't created a playlist for confidence-related songs  but once I do, I'll make sure this is a part of it. I know that I'm pretty arrogant and I don't seem to need this song but from time to time I need a boost for my ego. I may not be at the pinnacle of my career yet (not yet I hope because that would mean I could never go any higher), I know that I am already a step toward it. That is saying something.

2nd Defying Gravity (Wicked). I hate it when people tell me what I can't do. I laugh at those who tell me things that I do best. I think these are the things that I should declare.

"So for those who ground me, take a message back from me...Nobody, in all of Oz, nor wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down."

1st Something Right (Westlife). Although this is a love song and it's nowhere famous last year (I got the song two years ago), this speaks for what I am feeling today. There have been a lot of things I have done in 2011 that are remarkable. I have been to different places, and met different people. I have made so many decisions. I have been turning my life around.

I am still surrounded by tribulations but that doesn't mean I am just going to surrender.  I am still standing.There are things and people that remind me that I am indeed in the right place, in the right situation.

I must be doing something right.

That is about it for my 2011 playlist. I hope I can listen to some real good songs this year. I think I need to revamp my playlist, have enough room for new things. Right.

smurfy time

We have tried to motivate each other into seeing movies together. There was once when we were walking in the mall when I suddenly thought of seeing a movie but he refused, saying that he could easily get a good copy of any movie that I would want to see. Then came a time that he wanted to see a movie using his computer(if my memory serves me right, it's X-men Origins) and I kept on bothering him about my netbook.

In short, our attempts were utter failure (otherwise they wouldn't be called attempts anymore).

Last Friday was an exemption. The two of us plus his mom and grandmother saw a movie in his house. Guess what the movie is...Smurfs.

I therefore conclude that Smurfs united us as one. :P

confessions of an ugly stepsister... the beginning.

When we grow up, we learn

that it’s far more common for human beings to turn into rats

I think  I have mentioned once that I choose contemporary books for light reading along side a very boring one. This way I can read two stories at the same time, finish one eventually if the other proves to be one for a person who doesn't do anything but read in his life. That is what I am doing right now. It has been a month since I have written that heart-wrenching thing about Hawthorne's novel. Until now I haven't finished the book. I have moved a couple of chapters though but I am still a loooooooooong way from finishing it. In fact, I am not even half-way through it.

What I am about to finish is the other novel, Magguire's Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. I have only started reading days ago when epiphany has dawned to me that it is stupid to bring a novel no matter how thick it is if I am not to read it. I have left The House of the Seven Gables at home and downloaded an ebook from my netbook and read the copy through my phone. This makes everything lighter and easier since I often look at my cellphone anyway.

As of the moment, the book hasn't gone below my expectations. In fact, it continues to amuse me with its charming descriptions and unpredictable story-line. Okay, that is waaay exaggerated. Since the novel is a "fanfiction" of a famous fairy tale "Cinderella," I already have a clue of what is going to happen. However, the creativity of the writer sifts pieces of ideas together and forms a plot that stands on its own--I am thinking of appropriately making a book review about it.

My goal is to finish it within two days. I still have to squeeze reading in my busy schedule. In school, I have my classes. At home, I mind the grades, papers to check, and my unfinished cross stitch. Besides, I also spend good time with my boyfriend or friends. How do I read? I only maximize the benefits of traffic by reading my ebook while aboard the cab.

I am not expecting a happy ending from the book. I only want to be satisfied with it and find myself having a happy ending by finishing it.

Unlocking "The House of Seven Gables"

 As an English teacher, I  am aware that I have to update myself with new vocabulary, sentence structures and writing styles which any reading material can cater. I have to be not only a page away from my students but if possible, a library away . So here I am, trying to catch up on my reading and Nathaniel Hawthorne doesn't make it any easier.

 Yes, Hawthorne is such a pain. I was half-way through his Scarlet Letter last summer but I threw the book away from my sight after being stuck in a chapter for three weeks. Usually, three weeks is enough for me to finish three to four novels considering that I have a full time job and most importantly I have a life to live apart from reading.  However, there I was, flanked by Hawthorne's descriptive paragraphs for three boring weeks that I finally came to a conclusion that I was not ready yet for Scarlet Letter.

Being a very stubborn woman, and a competitive one if I may say (I do  love competing against myself by the way) I have given myself another attempt to finish one classic, and yes, it's Hawthorne's. It is the renowned The House of Seven Gables. Yup it's a classic and yes, it's pretty boring with all those 5-word adjectives per noun and right you are that I am out of my mind trying to finish this book. What can I do? The book seems to be innocent, easy to read as it appears so thin. It is even thinner than Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, which I have read three times without cheating myself, yet I find myself drowned in the author's pool of words. I think I will still be able to finish another novel side by side reading this boring one.

What should I do then, given this hurdle? I will try my best until the author and his work have sapped all of the energy and motivation from me. I will then give my humble opinion and my unbiased judgment after finishing the book. I will never surrender without a fight. After all, this is not the first boring book I have ever read, or tried to.

the clown

Time is too short for us. Sometimes everything is clear. Sometimes it's a puzzle.
And just because I don't like being confused...
I am taking a break...
and start being a half-masked clown again. peace. hahah

so much for june

add ons (they give my life a certain twist):

new workplace

new team

new family

new perspective

new relationship

I've always loved to be in the spot light 

but it feels good being at the background and getting a bird's eye view of things.

it makes me learn things in a different more mature perspective.




i think i've grown up all of a sudden.

venting out my stress on these poor pieces of paper, proving that i can tear things to shreds. you see this? this is what i am going to do to anybody who pisses me off. 

baguio baguio baguio

I should have posted something about Baguio days ago. However, no matter how much I thought about it, i could not find the words to describe how I felt when I got to Baguio with my work mates--sheesh, you'd think this is my first time.

It took me seven years before I could go to the Summer Capital and back when I was in high school, I  did not have the luxury to enjoy as many places as I had last Saturday and Sunday.

Now I know, i only need sufficient money, friends tagging along, one itinerary maker, and 3 digital cameras--one of which is DSLR--and i can have fun. hehe

Next time ulit.

chezuka and i, waiting for the bus to move. hehe

janey and christine insist that i look good in this photo. hehe 1st out fit

2nd day outfit, cosplaying or pretending to be a soccer player. hehe

strawberries...need i say more. haha

greeting grandfather bangin a good morning. haha

trees of lothlorien...haha

it was raining in baguio the 2nd day we were there

liz (ms universe), janey(the bomboi. hehe), cherie (the itinerary maker), chezuka (inlove with Kabaji) and pearl (the girl with the knockout lines. hehe)...where's ara?

now there's ara. she's the girl in blue

felt like walking in japan, korea...or baguio...haha

flowers for my wedding. haha. told yah, i only need a groom.

the reason we went to baguio...haha.pasimuno

soon, i am going to be on top of the world. haha

stars on earth. 

random thoughts on friendship and wasted effort

I get reprimanded for not giving any effort in friendship. I don't mind. In fact, sometimes I think I give too much. Then I stop.
For me, if friendship requires effort, then it's unfair. There will always be one who is going to give more. If people find it comforting to know that they have done their best in friendship even if it is already at the brink of destruction, I want to find myself in the safest zone. 

Right.The fear of wasting my affection for people who don't give a single damn about me is too strong.

sunset from my--and my brothers'--room

“Do I easily get tired of people?” is one question I often ask nowadays. There are some instances in my life that I let go of people as soon as I meet them. I even cut ties from ‘friends’ I have been with for a long time. The answer has come to me sooner than I have expected and as usual, God has played tricks and He has sent it through the most unlikely person and thing. I don’t easily get tired of people. I only lose my interest in those who don’t offer much challenge because I can’t see myself growing with them.

I live in this Earth for a purpose worth of more than being stagnant water in some dirty canal. There is no room in my social bubble for those who can’t strive with me. If society can be symbolized by the ecosystem, I’d rather be the weed competing for sunlight than a blossom plagued with aphids. Flowers wither and die. Weeds—well, you can see them even in unexpected places.

you need a lot of these letters to make a mat. but each letter functions on its own sweet way

just like this cotton candy...
one container, four different flavors 

people need to learn that no matter how close they are to a person, that person's business is not theirs. Most of the time, it is insulting to give unsolicited advice or help. Not meddling with a someone's problem doesn't mean being inconsiderate of that someone's feelings. On the contrary, it's the best expression of telling him/her that he/she is smart and strong enough to handle his/her situation.  

one speed only

Pascual Liner got it from me awhile ago. I gave the bus driver and the conductor a piece of my mind. It was my second time riding a bus from the same company and nothing changed: the bus was too slow. It was a déjà vu indeed. Speaking from the point of view of someone who rides the killer buses in Novaliches, this is definitely saying something. I felt that I should have taken a jeepney for all my money’s worth. Really. There was no difference. The bus kept on stopping at corners every two minutes or so—I was listening to my playlist as usual and I observed that a song did not finish without the bus stopping. Nothing would have ignited my anger, and I was even thinking that it was mere coincidence that the bus was Pascual Liner yet again, and I did not want to over generalize that company. What triggered my temper was the fact that more jeepneys passed us by. It was unnerving. At first, I only stomped my feet. The next time it happened, I already voiced my exasperation: Can’t this bus run any faster?

Not caring even if the other passengers gawked at me, I got off the bus. They could all stink in that bus for all I cared. All I had in mind was to get another bus that would run faster. Good thing I did.

Yup, I wasted my money but I got the sheer pleasure knowing that I had been right all along. That bus had one speed only. My second bus passed it along C-5.

I vow not to ride any bus from the same company. I don’t care even if they have different drivers, different buses and I doubt that they will notice that they miss one passenger from the thousands of people in my area. All I know is twice is enough.

unburied

A picture does paint a thousand words that I can’t bear looking at your happy ones…they shout at me that whilst I drown myself in my insufferable bitterness, you are there contented and satisfied. I have already thrown your pictures away. However, I still have one left-the one where you are neither happy, nor sad…your ID picture. It’s the only picture of thousands of words that I can interpret in thousands of meanings.