dogs that bark with their tails between their legs

Perhaps reading Life of Pi has started to influence how I think that I begin to see people with their distinct behavior and their respective places in the society as animals. Yep, animals.

Today I am going to write about dogs.

I love dogs. Really. I love the big ones, those that look clever and tough. They look like they can protect you from any trouble. In fact, my favorite one is Alaskan Malamute and the second one is Siberian Husky. I, however, don't own one. 

Well I used to. Its name was Thunder, a brown puppy my father bought when I was in Elementary. He was very remarkable. It wasn't afraid of rain nor thunder. I saw it once enjoying the rain. It died after two months, June 20, Fathers' Day. It was very dear to me that I did not love any dog after him.

The dog that I am going to describe today is far from my Thunder. Very far. 

This dog barks so loudly. It yaps and yaps. It wouldn't have been a problem seeing this dog if it had something to show for. That's it. It doesn't. It pretends to be a great dog--a Great Dane perhaps-- but it isn't. It wants to have a breed. However, even the most idiotic person in the world knows that a dog's breed is not determined by its bark. There are several factors: coat, height, length, muzzle, and behavior. A mongrel can never be a Golden Retriever, nor a German Shepherd no matter how it acts high and mightily.

Dogs will always wag their tails when they want to gain favor, when they want their owners to toss bones to them.This dog is the same. It barks and wags its tail to its superior, shows his teeth while lolling its tongue. What is it fed with? Scraps! Leftovers! It doesn't get the meat but it sucks the juice of the bones or even its own shit. When problems arise, it doesn't leave its master yet doesn't defend its Superior either. It hides behind his Master's pants and barks with its tails between its legs. How pitiful! Pathetic! Wretched and undignified little thing (redundancy intended)!

Given this, does it deserve my time? Nunca. I have more things to devote my time in.

How do I get rid of it?

I don't try to. Why? It doesn't exist in my world! Getting rid of it means acknowledging its existence and its significance. I acknowledge the presence of mongrels anywhere but I don't believe they matter much.

submissive and dominant animals

"When two creatures meet, the one that is able to intimidate its opponent is recognized socially superior, so that a social decision does not always depend on a fight; an encounter in some circumstances may be enough." - Hediger (1950)

I got this quote from the Life of Pi.

By the way, I haven't made up my mind on getting back on track in this blog but one thing is for sure, I will be posting from time to time this summer. Fortunately, we have a computer with internet access. Yep, out of 5 computers available for faculty assistants, only one has internet access. Besides, my situation needs it.

Last Friday, I wrote about a slithering snake in our midst. Well, it seems that issue isn't finished yet and it is going from bad to worse. I heard from a reliable source that the one who professed caring for me was the one who reported my text to my dear Superior. Sheesh. This text, the source said, became the trigger to the Superior's fury. What? A single, one-peso worth of text?! Seriously, someone needs a course on Anger Management more than I do. 

What irks me here is a statement made by an outsider whom I did not even risk involving in my situation. An unsollicited advice is more unwelcome than a statement that everything is gonna be alright (rock a by).

I do not require anybody to see my side. I am grateful to those who have chosen to believe in me after serious consideration of the situation I am in. I do not require help--I don't need it. I don't ask anybody to defend me nor stand up for me. Last but not the least, I do not need any unsollicited advice particularly from people who dare not save their asses.

They are hypocrites. They suffer. They complain. However, when push comes to shove, they hide or worse, they purr like cats. I don't take advice nor warning from animals who can't do anything to save themselves. Are they going to act like my saviors when they can't even stop complaining? Can't they even solve their problems first before they try to solve mine? (I don't even consider myself in hot waters)

"Socially inferior animals are the ones that make the most strenuous, resourceful efforts to get to know their keepers. They prove to be the ones most faithful to them, most in need of their company, least likely to challenge them or be difficult."

This is another quote I got from Life of Pi. I have to thank Sherwin for lending me the book. AND YES, I DARE TO DROP NAMES IN MY OWN BLOG.

Deconstructing the quote a bit, I therefore conclude that the strong animals thrive without being pets. They run free in the wild and they live for a longer period of time.

I have existed in this world for 24 years and in those years, I have learned to solve my own problems without  anyone helping me even my parents. Thank God, I don't need to suck up with my Superiors just to have a name for myself. 

Should I get terminated from my current job, the battle would have been won. Not by them, the superior, nor the snakes they have for pets but by me. It is not like this is the only job in the world. Aside from that, who has heard of a an employee being fired because she has edited her Boss' Memo? If I would be the first, then I would have my name posted in the Guiness Book of World Records. That would be remarkable.

a snake in paradise

Just when you thought that you were safe in your own paradise, a tiny black snake would come and bite you in your vulnerability. However, just like God has promised, Eve shall strike the snake with her heels, you would eventually learn how to crush the snake no matter how clever or poisonous it looked. In the end, you would have the upper hand. You would heal. You would be stronger whereas the snake would be forever dead, and it could only look at you through ghostly eyes.

I could never write how betrayed I felt after learning that my slyness had been reported to the Superior. More than feeling bad, I felt pity for that person who has chosen to betray just to suck up to the Higher Up. What courage this Snake had or didn't have, I do not know, but it surely took him/her an utmost effort to suck someone else's balls to get ahead.

I shall never look at this event in my life regretfully. I have learned so much. 1)People who don't posses the amount of bravery I have take other routes to feel they are better. 2) I will go directly to the Superior to edit his works right at his face, 3) (yes, I learned) I can simply fence unimportant people out of my life.

What a great day this is, as if I were in Paradise, with a dead snake underneath my heels!

When Students are Away...

...the teachers play!

The Thin Line That I Crossed

Sometimes, when we get over familiar with someone, we forget our limitations and we say things we ought not to say.

That is the exact thing I committed this week. I accidentally got into Syme's nerves without meaning to. He was kind enough to point it out to me. I was actually taken aback because for the first time, someone reacted against my bullying. I just had to be honest. I did not know how to react to that.

I thought of how I could keep on joking with him without jeopardizing our friendship. It was a challenge because we established our friendship through jokes. Not throwing witty lines at one another would be awkward and would worsen the situation rather than improve it.

I did not have to go through the pains of being awkward. Syme was too kind. He did not let me wallow in my guilt. He said, he was ok, that he was just letting me know what he felt and he did not mean for me to do anything about it. Of course, it was tempting to forget and pretend that everything did not happen. It was not the case for me. I considered it a debt that I got off the hook so easily. Yep. It's a debt all right-a debt that is hard for me to pay.

Karma of a Lone Lonely Loner

Last Friday, I did not go to work due to a respiratory problem. A day before that, I already found it difficult to breathe. Whenever I did, I felt a sharp pain traveling down my chest. It was not a good feeling. It was as if somebody was trying to cut my chest vertically from the inside. I could not even swallow food well.

It was as if it was a sin to breathe.

The day after, I did not go to work and decided to give my self a well earned rest.

This week Friday, my Co-Enrollment Advisers are absent. Syme, Ms. A, Sir Bien. If in our lineup last week I was the only one absent, this week , I am the only one present. Sir Bien has to meet his father, Ms A needs to follow up her thesis in her Masters, and Syme...well, I do not know where he is because up until this moment, I am not receiving his messages although I have sent a couple already asking for his whereabouts. I have a feeling that he went with Ms A to help her with her experiment.

I am on my lonesome. I don't have someone to talk with. All I can see are empty stations, the three desktop computers are all staring blankly at me. If that's not enough, the desktop that I am using mocks me of the things that I have to finish...alone.

I reckon this is pay-back time for being absent last Friday.

-------
It somehow strengthens my missing Russ. By the way, he's coming back this evening. Oh God, I can't wait for him to come back safe and sound. What's more is I can't wait to see him for tomorrow's movie watching.


[update: Syme has texted me saying that this is my time to have a heart to heart talk with ______.]

[more updates: I have taken photos of the workplace and myself... I think I will edit the photos first before posting them here.]

apple

Hey, you guys. I know I have been gone for a very long while and I think by now some of you have lost interest in my blog since I am not updating so often. I owe you an apology so...

Sorry!

Even though it is summer I still do a lot of things in school being an Enrollment Adviser/ Module Writer/ Curriculum Developer and all. I also have the time to write.

What I don't have are two things: first is a good internet connection at home, and secondly, the drive.

I don't have any reason to bring my netbook to school (which by the way is a haven of free wifi connection) since I use a trusty desktop there to write my module with but it doesn't have an access to the internet. I also save my money for more important things than the load of my broadband. Therefore, no matter how much I write and how many blog entries I have produced, I cannot publish them whenever I want. As you may have noticed I have just recently published my blog about Hunger Games although I have written it last month.

As regards the drive, there are so many topics to write about this summer and I have participated in several activities that I want to put them in my blog. However, the heat of the season makes me feel so lazy and I end up writing about something else or not writing at all.

I will try my very best to update as often as I can. I know the only way to do that is to sacrifice my USB and connect it to different ports (goodness gracious, my usb is becoming a whore). Good thing my boyfriend is an IT. He gives an additional feeling of security.

I will be posting the blogs I have meant to post this April in their respective schedule and hopefully I will be able to write on time after,

Ja ne



By the way while you're at it, check out my new fanfiction in fanfiction.net under Prince of Tennis: 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8054539/1/

hot summer somber days

It's freaking hot in the Philippines right now that I want to be somewhere else...

I don't have my salary yet. It has been four days already. I cannot use the freaking internet because I don't have my salary. I don't have blog entries for the last two weeks of March and even if I did, I wouldn't  be able to publish it anyway.

I have been busy computing the grades of my students, and getting myself cleared and, recently, making the module for the first semester. My mind has also become busy conjuring half-baked fanfictions. Still, a part of me is busy reflecting what things have gone wrong.

The weather isn't helping me one bit. I am not one with those who rejoice because it is summer and they can enjoy the beach and all.  Summer afterall is a season that can figuratively brighten and lighten up anybody. Since I am not just anybody, I do not share this ideology. Summer tans and darkens everyone- that I agree.

When I get my salary, one of the things I will buy is a fan. Then, I can half-enjoy summer, soaking up in its paradox.

siesta

120312

It's the last week of the semester and it is natural for students to feel the excitement for summer vacation and anxiety for their last requirements. Teachers, particularly those who are through with their lectures and two-thirds of the grades, on the otherhand are more relaxed.

That is the reason I kept telling myself as I am guilty of sleeping in the faculty room for hours.

I do not know what got me but I was really sleepy. I could hardly open my eyes to talk with my coteachers. I did not pay attention to what was happening around me. All I wanted was to sleep and sleep I did.

I had a tete-a-tete with Mr. Slumber for two hours. I woke just in time to prepare for my next class. I knew I slept in the middle of recording quizzes. I had nothing to worry about because my other classes were working their butts off in rehearsing for the final presentations. When I woke up, I only had to prepare coffee for myself and wait for my next class.

I don't think the power nap did anything good to me. Instead of refreshing me, it made me all the more sleepy. It made me miss the house, the comfortable bed, the pillows, the blanket...

Zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz  

Muchas Grasas

*Muchas Grasas is a play of words on the Spanish expression “muchas grasias” which means “thank you very much.” This pun is a title of the segment of the longest running comedy show in the Philippines Bubble Gang. The said segment is about a family of ‘Taong Grasa’, a term for financially deprived person who does not have any choice but to live on the streets or under bridges. At first, one will think that it is about how the rich dominate the poor but it is the other way around. In the segment, the poor discriminate those who are clean and well-off.

There will always be people who encourage and lift you up. Along with them will be those who try to bring you down.

Labeling somebody or something in front of others without thinking is one of the worst faux pas one can ever commit. It is unsophisticated, unintelligent, and ostentatious. It is also an affirmation of insecurity.

I do not know how low an insecure person can go. In fact, I do not need to know. There cards are quite out in the open, I won't even say they have strategies. Anyway, all they do is cloak themselves with hypocritical righteousness.

All I know is I am doing my job. And if someone badmouths me whether in front of other people, I take it as an artist having an immature anti-fan.

Simon says that I must learn the art of 'deadma' or indifference and I think I really should and I shall begin practicing.

WCC College Week

The WCC Caloocan Administrators decided to give students and teachers a break from the usual rigorous studying and have an activity week. From 20th to 24th of February we had our well appreciated College Week where students from the different colleges in school showcased their talents, creativity, and zeal that they don't usually show in their subject areas.

Each department prepared a variety of activities that professors and students alike did not know where to go first. But of course, where their loyalty laid was in the exhibits of their own department. After an hour or so, they started visiting other booths and programs.

The English Department had a film festival. The movies lined up ranged from action, to inspirational, to horror ones. Every now and then, people passing by the AVR could hear different exclamations of happiness, shock and grief coming from the audience.

Dice and I, after the English Seminar

The same department held a seminar last Thursday. I was one of the two speakers and I talked about the roles of Language Educators in social reconstruction. The second speaker talked about Teaching to Change Lives which surely inspired our future educators.

The Criminology Department prepared an awesome and worth-visiting booth. Working the Students' Lounge to their advantage received two thumbs up if not three. They had an anatomy corner for forensic purposes. They also had a documentation section where they showed the differences between real money bills and certificates, and fraud documents. Nearing the exit were exhibits of illegal drugs (wrapped so carefully so nobody would be tempted to use them), bullets and guns (students in-charge showed us how to assemble a pistol), and a lie-detector machine (unfortunately it wasn't working).

Bullets from the Criminology Batch

Sunako-chan will envy me right now hehe

The Crim students had a one-week program but I was not able to follow it. However, I deem it is safe to conclude that they had a good time. The faculty could hear them singing their lungs off in their videoke area and I wondered how many of these talented students would audition to get in the Music Club.

Business Administration students occupied three classrooms for their exhibits. Each booth featured different products made out of recycled materials. I even saw one coin bank styled like Chuck. Aside from the booths, they also had seminars and sports fest-both I did not see since their venue, the gym, was at the topmost of our building.

The SIHM had a very exciting week as the organization had different activities per day. There were Cupcake Seminar and Tour Guiding. There were Quiz Bees and cooking contests. The highlight of their week long festivity was their Pageant. All I can say is it was grand. There was a pre-pageant where the contestants showcased their talents and skills. Take note: I was one of the judges. On the pageant night, the contestants showed off their stare-worthy appearances. They looked so awesome we could have registered them in real beauty contests.

Tour Guiding Competition

Alluring Ms. A, and Sexy Syme

Dean Melgar of the SIHM Department, introducing the speaker

Last but not the least, the IT students had booths on the ground floor where they featured different computers and software.

It was safe to conclude that the students enjoyed their activities so much. The professors also had a good time since they had one week of rest from teaching. Also, they were entertained by the well prepared activities.

As for myself, I thought it was great. Seriously. When I was in college I kept wondering how such activities had materialized and I was quite guilty of not participating in them. Now that I am a college instructor, even if I was only half-forced due to my responsibility, I had to immerse myself in experiencing college week from a different angle. And I loved it. 

of sore throat and other drugs

I have intended to post an article about our school's college week but it needs more details and revisions so I am going to post this one instead. My rant today is about my anxiety amidst my sore throat period, how happy I have been when I got my voice back and how I am currently abusing it.

I have already written about my sore throat last Saturday and I think it is but fair that I write an update. It is for the sake of journal keeping.

Moving on...

I had a dilemma in the period that I lost my voice: what would I do if I would not get it back? I was seriously disturbed since I love my voice so much. I like to sing my favorite songs, to speak out my mind, to imitate famous and not so famous characters. I teach using my voice. I profess my love to those I care for. How would I do all of these without my voice?

I was in the verge of crying when Russ told me to stop thinking hysterically and focus instead on how I would get better.

I got my voice back last Monday morning, thank God, but I was prohibited to strain it until it has been fully restored. Until now, I feel uncomfortable speaking. My voice doesn't come out smoothly and every now and then I still cough.

Still, it is a liberating feeling being able to talk again. I have started singing in the bathroom once more. One of these days I will be able to start singing with the Nameless Band, yahoo.

However, my sore throat threatens to return. I have had lectures and discussions already which mean my voice box is in full blast once more. My throat has started to itch. My voice sounds rough and raspy for my taste, not the quality it has been known for.

I think I have to be good friends with Strepsils, Vicks Vapor Rub, and Ginger if I want to have a speedy recovery. All for the love of my voice, I will befriend them as soon as I get home so that I will be able to write something else aside from my sore throat.

-------------

Photos of the seminar which triggered my sore throat.

Moi, and Gaile

moi and ms noriesta

my seminar yipeee

Triumphant Love Stories

Unlike my past uncelebrated Valentine's Day, this year's has been quite busy for me. I purposely wanted to celebrate the season because it was the first time I would be doing so as a person-in-a-relationship. Besides, there was another reason to celebrate and that was the birth of the Music Club.

Or should I say rebirth?

The organization was established late last semester and the responsibility of moderating the club fell on my shoulders. Unfortunately, I was not able to handle my job pretty well. Last semester's performance was way below our standards. Since I am the kind of person who hates committing the same mistakes, I promised we would come back with a vengeance.

And when I say Vengeance, I mean it.

That was why I worked my head off, and asked the kids to do the same thing just to have an event solely for the Music Club. I reckon we learned and experienced a lot of things from preparing and performing in our first Concert: Love Stories.

In the process, I saw real talents under pressure. Those were the ones who brought instruments during rehearsals despite their bags were already full and heavy of books and academic materials. They also initiated decorating the venue, and inviting their fellow students to watch their performances. On the other hand, I also saw raw people who were not yet ready for a full blown performance. Quite a number of students were dropped from the performance because of their attendance and behavior in the rehearsals.

JL the guitarist

Jen, guitarist

 

I also received support coming from different people. Russ and his family gave me encouragement. Our nameless Band even provided additional equipment and performed in the concert. Teachers and the Admin Staff invited students to watch. Ms. A and Syme actually supported me from the very beginning.

So how was the concert?

Syme, singing his head off.haha

The Sit-In Band hehe

lovely ladies of the club

the dashing emcee of the program, Syme

As part of the audience, I was quite subjective to say that it was successful. Having the commendations of my co-teachers and students strengthened the belief that it had been great. However, the proofs that had sealed all doubts out of my head were the speeches of our administrators:

"This concert is a proof of the passion of the Music Club. I would like to thank the initiative of  the club for celebrating the season because this is the first time Valentine's was celebrated in WCC."- Ms. Moral

 

"Next semester, we will have a room for the Music Club members and we will fill that room with equipment."- Mr. Gonzales

How did I feel?

I felt proud of, first, myself for successfully putting up the concert and of course my members who exerted their best. I also felt victorious because I was able to fulfill my promise to give them a better stage. Lastly, I felt a sense of accomplishment that I had not felt before.

We were able to make the audience happy and entertained.

We were able to satisfy our administrators.

The greatest achievement of all was the smiles on the members’ faces after their last song number. Those smiles were of triumph.

We were able to redeem ourselves.

jl, wendy, meryll, moi, jen, madel, johnray, christelle, syme, chacha, jane
The Music Club

To God be the Glory.

gerard, russ, moi, rye, chuck