I promised myself that the next time you see me, I would be better person. I would be Someone who is worthy of you. I thought that being me wasn’t enough that’s why you decided to turn away. That is why I started to try my very best to be that kind of person who, I think, is best for you. But I started to get tired.
Liking myself to a non-existent being that may not even capture your attention wasn’t my style from the very start.
Then I started to realize that all of my dreams were made with only one goal: to make you proud of me. All of my dreams were built around you that at the moment of my epiphany, my goals fell one by one.
Do you know how it felt? It felt like starting from a void. All these years, I thought I had planned my life as a well structured path. But there was a hollow all along—no, not a hollow, a sink hole because you once…somehow…filled my path.
Now that I learned that I had depended so much on you, I figured out why you and I can never work out. I was full of you but I never was in me. No matter how I tried to be the one you liked, you would still turn away because I did everything for you and nothing for myself which entirely made me to a Nobody.
Therefore, next time, next time we are given an opportunity to look at each other’s eyes, I hope to see in yours what I like to be. Me.