25.10.10

getting hooked again

Am getting back to an old hobby—writing fanfictions of my favorite anime.

I thought and still think it is the easiest thing to do. Characters and settings are already supplied. The fanfic writer only needs to supply the “flashback” and “side-stories” of the animation. I used to draft my stories in my notebook or any piece of paper I could get hold of. I remember writing one beside my school notes when I found the class boring (people had the impression that I was studious. Nope. I just wrote things to wake myself-up)

Truth be told, I almost forgot that I even had made some. These past few days, my mind was fogged up with the idea that I was old enough to start taking life seriously and be in love with real human beings and not with some products of someone else’s imagination.

Then again, I was wrong. Good thing, a friend reminded me of the so-called fanfiction.net and I’m back to writing fics. Just recently, I have updated one that I drafted four years back. It feels like having a reunion with a very important high-school classmate.

Hope I still have enough creative juices though. I’m afraid I’m starting to go deeper into the rabbit’s fur. I want to see the magician’s eyes once again.

2510 my top ear candies

How I wish I could get a hang of delivering speeches…am getting pretty clammy. Only a few hours left…
1.      Augustana- Not alone
2.      The All American Rejects- It Ends Tonight
3.      Dishwalla- Angels or Devils
4.      Lifehouse- Storm
5.      2pm- I Hate You
6.      Lighthouse family- High
7.      2NE1- Clap Your Hands
8.      Secondhand serenade- Half Alive
9.      Faber Drive- Second Chance
10.  Faber Drive- It ends

15.10.10

had enough

After listening to Lifehouses Had Enough (featuring DaughtryI didnt know that two of my favorite bands collaborated in this song which steadily grows on me) while looking at Jupiter (yes, the brightest not-twinkling star we can see in our night sky is Jupiter) 2 am of October 14th, I thought it all made sense. Hehe. 

Im finally saying goodbye (or probably said it already without realizing) and Im quite happy about it.

Affection can really be a burden.

Loneliness pacing up and down these hallways
Secondguessing every thought
Mystified, just spinning ‘round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say

Everytime I reach for you, there’s no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I’m letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough of this.

I believe that love should be a reason
To give and get back in return (to give and get back in return)
I wanna breathe in a new beginning
With someone who will wrap her arms around what’s left of me

Everytime I reach for you, there’s no one there to hold onto
Nothing left for me to miss, I’m letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough of this.

Inside I’m barely holding on
There’s something that’s already gone
Inside of me a world is in this all alone

Everytime I reach for you, there’s no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I’m letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough of this.

Everytime I reach for you, there’s no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I’m letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I’ve had enough, had enough of this
Oh whoa, oh, I’ve had enough, had enough of this 



12.10.10

(e) library

To have public and private libraries has been one of my goals since I was in high school. How great it will be to open doors that will lead to thousand different adventures.

10 years ago, having our school’s mini-library as an inspiration, I believed it was really plausible. As soon as I reached college, I started collecting books. It was a late start, but a beginning none-the-less. I kept on collecting books whether related to my course or not just as long as I fancied them. Adopting a philosophy of a friend, “you may not read them right now, but somebody else will.”I was more inspired when I heard of the existence of Booksale where one can purchase good books for less—one should have the knack in looking for a good book in a good condition with a good price.

After graduating, having a good job, and receiving my first ever salary, I became more ambitious and extended my domain to National Book Store and Power Books, buying my most prized and loved books (ex: JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit and Lord of The Rings trilogy, James Joyce’s A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Notes from the Underground).

Now, all of them clutter my home. Visitors can find them anywhere—on the bed and under it, on the drawers, in the closet, on and under the table…the closest image I can find is that of Inkheart’s Mo and Meggie’s house. My father threatened me once to light a match on a single leaf he would see. I tried my best to fit them in cramped spaces while making sure that neither my father nor smaller creatures could touch them. I’m sure my father hasn’t but I have long accepted that bugs and termites have made a permanent abode in some of my treasures.

However, I have stopped collecting lately, owing to, drum roll please, ebooks. They are more convenient (as I am working with computers most of the time) and efficient (as I can store them in folders without occupying so much space in my bag). Reliability is a question though since I have found most of the ebooks were made in haste—spelling errors here and there.

Friendly pages of real books still beckon me but as for now, I have to content myself with ebooks since I don’t really have time for serious reading. Committing a crime it is against the authors and publishers of the books, but still, I have to catch up with my reading. Whether it is a paper-made or lcd-made book, as long as it serves my purpose in reading, I don’t mind.

My public and private libraries can wait. They won’t materialize anyway until I have a bigger space and since I have nothing but a cent of ambition in my pocket, I rather start with my electronic library. Who says I’m still far from achieving one of my childhood dreams?

being proud

I have studied English for approximately 15 years. I have painstakingly undergone 1) loads of embarrassment whenever my mother talks to me in English, 2) tons of pressure in finishing homeworks and researches that my English teachers have given me (goodness knows how I have worked on them intensively and extensively), 3) buckets of challenges in understanding English movies, television series, and songs—not that I don’t enjoy them, in fact I really do. I think it is only fair that my efforts yield good results.

I find it surprising that some have the guts to tell me that I’m too proud of my English proficiency.  Why shouldn’t I be?

Come to think of it, if I were too proud indeed, I should have gone somewhere where my blessed skills would be more appreciated…

Tututut…