lines

"I like today because I feel that I exist."- Girry (Lee Ji Young)


"Smart phones are reasonable because they are smart. " Kevin (Kim Kyung Wan, 12)


"I think first impression is important because many people believe in it." - Wizz (Jeong Young Ho)

--receiving such responses from my students, i felt a touch of heaven. hehe. This is one of  the reasons that make language teaching interesting.

I am probably the last person you will think of when you hear the word stuffed toys. Or fluffy pillows.

I am probably the last person you will think of when you hear the word stuffed toys. Or fluffy pillows. Or cute teddy bears. Right?

But that is wrong.

How could you be so mean! I actually like them.

Whether you believe it or not.

The reason that I don’t seem to like them is I did not have any when I was young. My father has this strange philosophy that children can’t handle toys well and that “toys” should be given to kids when they already have the “mind” to handle them with care.

He therefore decided to give me one when I was already teaching in Chiang Kai Shek. I was really pleased. It was a lazy dog.

After that, the others came.

from my student in caloocan science

from Eugene Lester Lin of CKSC

from my III-7 students

from Kristie, Mariel, and Joemar, my friends from VCF

from my youngest brother, xerd

from my lovely III-4 students

from ryan kyle sia, III-6

from Maria Cecilia Villafuerte

I still have a Spongebob hand warmer(from III-6) and Pikachu (from DUO) but both are dirty and as of the moment, not presentable.

I wish to have one of these though. 

it's Haina's teddy bear...

Yup, a giant teddy bear that I can hug when I sleep. I don’t want to believe that I should have a boyfriend first before I get one. If you are reading this, you know what I want for Christmas. But if you are quite generous, well, one for my birthday won’t hurt. Haha…

the time when i pushed the vlc screen capture

I have contemplated long and hard whether I should post this or not. as you can see, I am not just a regular nobody as I proclaim that I am.  I do believe that there are eyes looking at me, their traps wide open-ready to judge, waiting for me to fall.


However, I've already gone beyond that. It's been ages since I've learned that my life is not dictated by what people want me to be nor who they see me as. After all, I am what I want them to see soooooo...

my favorite pair

the tensai

Fuji Syuusuke, serious mode ON

love triangle?

yes, it's a love triangle

the perfect pair

hehe

You might be asking, "why the long introduction..."

I am just aware and maybe afraid that people may find me immature...but i guess that's pretty much what I am...haha

decision

....i have already made my decision...it is now or never...

.i will probably regret my decision, but if i wouldn't do it now, when would i do it...when i am too old already?

..i will probably hate myself afterwards. probably i am just in search for what stacey orrico says as a "temporary high" but this high makes me happy.

...i will probably cry gallons of tears but i know, if i am indeed in search for true happiness, i should stick to the little joys that i find, and grab those opportunities that only pass my way once...

....i will probably get a little bit disappointed since this would feel as if i am back to step one. But if step one is closer to what i think will make me happy, then why should i not take the risk....

.....i will probably miss people...and people will probably miss me but i cannot let each minute pass by without making an effort to get nearer to my Personal Legend. I should not let this legend miss me.

......no matter what happens in the end, i only have myself to blame. But what is worse for me is to find out that i did not succeed because i didn't try. I don't want to cry bitter tears of regret for things i hesitate to do. I have had enough of regrets. I have already eaten my piece of cake.

........so whether things will turn out for the better or for worse, i will just have to remember, that i have made this decision on my own based on what i think, what i perceive, what i think. I will just have to remember that i have made this decision on my own with no one but the One who has lend me wisdom and bravery.

....i have already made my decision...it is now or never...

kamsahamnida

The MASCKS’ presentation Du Mal Au Bien went quite well yesterday. Although there were quite a number of minor errors particularly the opening and closing of curtains, I can profess that I am satisfied with how it turned out. It wouldn’t be possible to put up such a play in a hurry as we did hadn’t we received help from the different sides of the coast. Hehe.

III-4
My advisory class has been supportive of me lately. I don’t know if they already feel what is going in my mind for quite some time. Aside from the fact that they invite me to eat out almost every afternoon without asking for anything in return (I hope...hehe), they expressed genuine enthusiasm in helping the MASCKS production. We encountered short budgets(for paint, and food) along the way but I’m glad that they didn’t desert me. They wouldn’t dare I know...hehe.

The Props team: Feliche, Marian, Kim, Heidi, Myca, Lynell, JD, Alex, Dixon, KLO, Sarah, Stephanie, Allana, Danica, Alain, Janie, Kathy, Tiffany

I witnessed how the different peer groups in my class unite to create the gigantic castle for the play. I witnessed them get dirty, splashed with paints. I saw them get irked by their bossy classmates. But after finishing the castle, and after the performance, I saw them smile, humbly yet proudly.

It broke my heart when I learned that they had to spend their money for the props. They missed their classes, sometimes their snacks. They exposed themselves to the harmful effects of the paint which in the first place is the reason they had to use to corridors of the 3rd floor of the main building. It broke my heart too when some people asked them not to listen to music, their only leisure. I felt disappointed that some turn a blind eye to my student’s sacrifices yet add up another ear to listen and criticize their noise.

I know we received different feedbacks as regards the castle. I don’t exactly know why but i can;t help but grin, thinking that our critiques could only gnash their teeth at us. There is more to that castle than what they saw, more than the offending odor of paint they could smell. As for me I can see the finger prints my advisory class embedded there as they had applied the paint using their bare hands (we did not have a sufficient supply of paint brushes).

The Silent workers: Nico, Jotham

Nico helped us in the first day we started working on the pillars. His effort wasn’t that recognized but i am glad he had the initiative to help in the time of need.
I am quite sure I gave Jotham’s name for the credit list. It was just sad his donation, 2 boxes of bottled water, wasn;t recognized. In my heart, I am sincerely thankful of him.

The performers: Grace, Jolly, Jimcen

Although they weren’t recognized as part of the major characters, these three contributed to the success of the production. I know that without them the presentation would be very different. Thanks to Grace, for showing a totally different side of her, to Jolly, for exuding confidence and grace in her performance, to Jimcen, for giving his best without asking to be appreciated.

My class in general: although some of them weren;t able to help, probably they were just busy doing something else or they couldn’t think of other ways to help us, I am still thankful that they didn;t make themselves a burden to me at the time that I felt I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

III-5 Xyncoz
It is my fault that I doubted their loyalty. Because of an unwanted competition and issues, I hadn’t asked for their help in the preparation of the MASCKS presentation. I indeed avoided those issues, but I inflicted pain to those who sincerely wanted to help me. All I can say is sorry. I didn’t mean any harm. I realized that I should not be blind and insensitive to their willing hearts.

I am still grateful of them since all throughout the preparation, I could ask for their refuge. They made my two weeks light. They lessened the load of being a teacher by behaving a little bit properly than they used to when we first met. I regret that I appreciate their help a little bit too late. I can only promise to make it up to them. How I don;t know. But i am going to make it up. Hehe

III-6 Unitrix

My beloved class who has witnessed my tears of joy and sadness. I have been with them for two years already and the feeling doesn’t change. They make me smile. They end my day right. For the first months of this school year, I tried hard not to compare the love I feel for them and the love i feel for my advisory class. Just then I realized that there was no reason for me to avoid comparing because they cannot be compared. My love for III-4 is like a love of a mother for her real first born baby. My love for this class is like a love a friend, one out of trust tried and tested through years.

Once again, that trust was tested and we succeeded it magnificently. They were assigned to do the Chinese temple and the fountain, both were highly appreciated by the audience. Sure we encountered problems including the remaking of the fountain which at first was a flat thing made of Styrofoam only. When they heard that we were supposed to have an almost real fountain, I know they were quite disheartened because their efforts had been in vain. Still, they did not stop thinking of another idea.

The next problem we encountered was how we were supposed to make the Chinese temple stand. Bless them for their resourcefulness because before the day before the presentation ended, they were able to procure an object to support the entire material. They even agreed upon the persons who were to hold it from behind.
What makes me appreciate them more is the fact that I had not begged the whole class to help me but they did. Of course I could not put all of the III-6 students’ names in the exception list so I listed only 20 but during my period when we were supposed to create the props, all of them worked, sweated and dirtied.

I am grateful of the fact that these students weren’t even a part of my advisory class yet they exerted the effort as if they were. Like III-4, the bore the pressure that our task required of us. At the end of the day, the day of the presentation itself, they were there from the start to the end from the last minute practice down to packing up of props(to which I am especially grateful of Kervin).

__________________________________
My words aren’t enough as a replacement for my students’ effort, love and trust. I am not even sure if money or grades would suffice. Du Mal Au Bien wouldn’t be successful if not for my students. They materialized my dreams. They are the realization of the hidden ideas stuck in my head. To tell you the truth...i don't have any idea how to finish this blog...

Yup... No idea...

giving a damn to quitters

I have never been a fan of quitters. Being competitive, I excel more when I a challenged, when I am bullied. I don't stop until I get my own share of the cake. That is why I can't understand people who quit without trying. I hate weaklings who half-heartedly do things they are asked to do--just because they don't like to? They don't have the potentials? Their groups mates don't like them? to hell. They haven't even tried doing the tasks. In their minds they limit themselves to a category and never venture into deeper waters.

It's foolish. They keep on saying "Knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do." Well, that's a whole lot of a crappy alibi. It doesn't give them a sacred reason to refuse a task. As if everyone is asking them to jump from the King's tower and die.

Haven't I quitted once,you ask? Of course, I have. I am a human being. I used to quit in a lot of things before I learned that " The words 'I CAN'T' are better used sparingly. I give importance to the things I can't do but I don't let them stop me. I don't give a damn if it is hard as long as I have to do them(and if the task is worth the try) then I will.

Should I care if people don't like me? I won't let them affect me. I won't give them a reason to like me either. I don't care if they have stayed longer in the workplace. I am given the opportunity to stay in the same area because I am worthy and I must show that. They might as well die in frustration of kicking me out. When I have to leave--WHEN I REALLY HAVE TO QUIT, I'll make sure that I will leave something good, something to amrk the place that I once have been there. I WON"T LEAVE WITHOUT A FIGHT.

ka-CORNY-han

One of my many flaws that students point out at me is my ka-CORNY-han. It didn't come as a surprise because--surprise!--I am. I didn't learn the art of throwing jokes nor cracking one. When I was in high school, I already chose to be a wall flower. While my brothers liven up the party by joking, I usually end up making a fool of myself trying to make them eat their hearts out. I may even think of some thing funny but it never sells in the market because i don't have the proper medium of expressing it. I dropped Joke 101 and entered the Pun 101 class but the dean kicked me out....pity. So i ventured in another use of language--and this is quite a different story altogether. As much as possible I don't show my ridiculous side (except when i need it) Whenever I "joke" I am merely voicing out the thoughts that I find funny. I rather join in the audience laughing at funny people (if they are indeed funny) than be laughed at. Suffice it to say I understand my students since i myself only laugh at things that may make me laugh.. It is just a pity that they have to bear with a corny teacher until march 2010.

一歳の誕生日の1ヶ月のお祝い

• last year i celebrated my birthday my birthday with my co-online teachers and employers somewhere in EDSA, Music 21. That's when I received my xpress music.
• also i remember i celebrated it with Randolph and Kath in SM Manila, Yellow Cab.
• And not to mention the Stranger was with me last year although he didn't know it was my birthday.

Two weeks have already passed since my 21st birthday, I know. But nada that i would let july go by without having an entry about the month-long celebration of my birthday.

• 10july, with 3-4, Ersao, P. Algue-- my advisory section gave me a Red Ribbon chocolate roll and a notebook containing greetings from them and my co-teachers. Yep, sweet. My section is sweet. They just can't help being a bother sometimes.
• 11july, with WG, CKSC-- had to work. first writing workshop of WG with me.
• ------, 1100 with 3-6, Shakey's, masangkay-- I had lunch--lunch btw was courtesy of kervin who celebrated his birthday last july 9.
• ------, 1400, SM Tayuman, treated myself with Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World.
• 13july, with 3-6 CKSC room, apostol, allan, jayson, jerome gibert, and ekstrom gave me a hand warmer. They had considered giving me a pair of room slippers but since they didn't know the size of my feet, they settled for the "stuffed-toy" which turned out to be a hand warmer.
• 15 July, Faculty--Sir Allan, Maam Llanado, Maam Mogro, Sir Buiza and I treated the faculty to lunch of spaghetti, bread and drinks. Don't forget the cake sponsored by Maam Llanado's students.
• ------, with Mama, SM Tayuman-- my mother and i had a date. i treated her to Jollibee since i got pretty stuffed up in school. we got hamburgers (i had considered taking her to tokyo tokyo but she didn't feel eating japy food). then we shopped for stocks at home.
• 21july, with 3-6 yet again--after a week since the hand warmer, ryan kyle gave me a bread key chain.
• 24july--lance andrew of 3-6 treated me to MOA--as part of his birthday gift for me or as part of his birthday celebration i don't know but then again it didn't matter. we, lance and some 3-4 students (stef, jolly, janie, grace, jd, danica, nico, jotham, jomar and wilberto) and i spent the day skating (well they skated, i just held unto the rinks railings: fortunately i didn't fall), window shopping, and getting lost in EDSA--nice experience it was. it's just that there was the guilt of responsibility that somehow spoiled the day. nonetheless it was fun.
• 28july-- a day after PGMA's last but hottest SONA ever, Sir Allan and I treated the English Department for lunch. We had Spaghetti, BBQ and drinks. Mrs. Tiu, our coordinator, supplied the brownies which i evidently appreciated--since i'm not a chocolate lover, i intake it through brownies and cakes. Sir allan and I were surprised when we received People Are People apparels from the Dept. we didn't think that our feast would have a better and more expensive reward.

Honestly, the best thing i have this year is celebrating my birthday with my whole family. it has been a while, really...after 6 years...

looking back at all these things, i feel grateful to the One who continuously lets me exerience such blessings. words aren't enough.

nothing but a piece of paper

..no matter how hard i tried i couldn't keep myself from saying i love 3-6 more than i love 3-4. i got so angry with my beloved advisory section specifically on a student who thinks he knows everything just because he's the son of a seasoned teacher.





...somethings i don't like about in students are:


1. they keep on having alibis that don't cover up their blunders.


2. they lie


3. they cheat





given that i've been a student once (and i should understand), i've never answered my teacher "ma'am it's nothing; it's a piece of paper"





by jimminy, i know what a piece of paper is and so does everybody with the minutest brain.





...just releasing the tension:


i know it's bad for me to label students, and have favoritism. when i was a student, i hated teachers who favored sections other than their own. so i know what it feels like for them...but you see, i think it doesn't matter for them if they know.





"Enough of the audacity. I would not put up with that kind of attitude."





Why can't they understand that what teachers need in times of cloudy days( figuratively) is honesty.





It's adding insult to injury.





.it's insane, absurd and stupid..


..and i couldn't help myself from blurting out: "ang yabang nyo eh. wala pa naman kayong napapatunayan. look at 3-6, i've been with them for a year and they're still humble."





...and all those things that could come out from an honest heart injured by a merciless retort.

The Bread Key-Chain and Other Spongebob Stuffs

I've been acquainted with 3-6 for sometime already. Actually i handled them last year in English II. I'm almost accustomed to their mood swings and they are to mine as well. And with all honesty, among the sections I’m handling, I’m most attached to them.

I’m not going to lie; I’m torn between my advisory section 3-4 and them. Suffice it to say, II-4 and I still have differences to settle unlike 3-6 which has established a bond with me.

God has given me a big opportunity of handling such a section that has somehow persuaded me to stay for a year longer in the teaching profession. Those students have not only given me key chains,

stuffed toys,

and greeting card. They haven’t only treated me to Shakey’s

or McDo. They continuously shower me with smiles, laughter, bits of information, and heaps of problems.

I even have a promise to them that I shall wait for their graduation So I am pressured. I’m challenged to do my best for them, to give the best of my abilities just to ensure that they wouldn’t remember me as their English teacher but someone who has inspired them to do their best as they have inspired me.

. What feeling it will be to see them going up stage one by one…the satisfaction that somehow I’ve imparted something to them…the pride that those students are not only English proficient but also noble students.

And when the time comes for them to leave,

I shall proudly say, “They are my first borns, ready to face the world.”