At the first time you saw this envelope, you felt obliged to give. It was your responsibility to help.

At the second time you saw this envelope, you thought, probably there had been a mistake. Probably the distributors were just in the direst of needs. Probably it was coincidental that the words were the same, the penmanship was the same. The distributor? Could you possibly have seen his face? Was he that significant that his face stuck in a side of your brain you thought didnt exist? You reached for your wallet.

At the third time you saw the envelopeyou got irritated.

And for the next, you found yourself totally indifferent from the cries of the paper, the pleas of the dirty hands.

And people would brand you as an Unfeeling Unmerciful Git.

You didnt care.

Who was more unfeeling: you, who learned your lesson the hard way, or that Unknown who used your pity to make their pockets bulge? 


2709 my top ear candies

  1. seal- kiss from a rose
  2. evan and jaron- crazy for this girl
  3. kim tae woo- raindrops
  4. blink182- i miss you
  5. 2pm- i hate you
  6. lifehouse- whatever it takes
  7. daughtry- over you
  8. stacey orico- more to life
  9. faber drive- when i’m with you
  10. goo goo dolls- black balloon


spending time for myself

Before we enjoyed the blessed three-day Chuseok break(that is Thanksgiving day in Korea, and Moon-Cake festival in China if I'm not mistaken), I had listed 4 things I had really wanted to do alone for the holidays:
  1. 1.      See a movie
  2. 2.      Bike somewhere quiet
  3. 3.      Audition in a singing competition and
  4. 4.      Ride a roller coaster

  • I had promised epfour I would not do number four without them so I did not. Anyway, there are certain things one enjoys more when he or she has company and going to an amusement park is one of them. I am sure I would still scream my heart out in one of the rides had I gone alone but I think I would not stand seeing groups of people sharing their excitement while waiting in line. How awkward it would be for me to be excited all alone waiting for my turn to ride. I simply wanted and still want to try it out on my own since most people don’t—meaning just for the sake of being different.

  • I did not see any opportunity for number three. I searched far and wide but I could not come across signs indicating opened auditions. Certainly, nobody goes to a non-existent audition. Had there been, I know it would be quite difficult to shove my way in. Most judges prefer singers who stretch their vocal chords with ear splitting notes than those who really hit the notes. Nonetheless, it would have been worth a try.

  • It was raining in the past three days. Naturally, the roads were slippery for biking. Aside from that, I could not remember any quiet place in Metro Manila—not that it would really matter. I usually hit the roads with music banging in my ears anyway. I would not make any difference at all whether I was biking in Manila or along the yellow-brick-paved road to Oz. More importantly I devoted most of my three days for sleeping for at least 8 hours a day and catching up on my reading (goodness knows how many books I have to read. Now that I have numerous ebooks in my computers both at home and at work, I don’t have any excuse.). I remember waking up knowing I had something important to do but I shrugged it off. Man! What could be more important to a sleep-deprived working girl than a full rest?

  • I went to see a movie instead. A 15Php movie—cheap one, I’m running out of funds(had to save up for my youngest brother). The movie was Letters to Juliet. The experience, movie-watching alone, would not have bothered me so much since it was not the first time.  I was just unfortunate to watch the movie with people with double-digit I.Q.’s- the type of crowd that doesn’t laugh at the good lines but laughs and jeers at the minutest display of intimacy. I had fun though when they made fun of the already pathetic situation.  I did not have any reason to complain since I paid it cheap. Aside from that, I felt as if I was surrounded by all of the people I met in my life and we were sharing a good hearty laugh at something we finally agreed to laugh at for the first time. What spoiled most of the movie viewing probably was my expectation that it was something worthier than 15php.

One out four—not bad. Had I been lazier I might not have accomplished any. Besides, I did things I had not included in the list like going somewhere where I wanted to without any purpose (I went to Shaw, then to Cubao, finally to SM Manila). As a conclusion (it has been a while since I used this expression to end my journal) I enjoyed spending the time for myself. Definitely, that won’t be the last of my escapades.


growing roots and branches

[오후 9: 18:00] ME: harharum- imitating Treebeard 
[오후 9: 18:07] ME: i feel like being an ent tonight 
[오후 9: 18:12] ME: i want to be uprooted 
[오후 9: 20:22] 구준표: you want to be uprooted? 
[오후 9: 20:42] ME: uprooted from my station..i'm starting to grow branches and leaves here 
[오후 9: 21:08] ME: i have all the things a plant needs to grow 
[오후 9: 21:24] ME: i have the sun (the blessed fluorescent lamp) 
[오후 9: 21:52] ME: i have the water (sometimes coffee-minerals i get from the ground) 
[오후 9: 22:13] ME: i have the soil (i'm surrounded by dust0 
[오후 9: 23:16] ME: and i have some fertilizers ( strands of hair, pieces of paper-biodegradable things) 
[오후 9: 23:32] ME: if you're looking for my pot, i'm sitting on it. 
[오후 9: 23:45] ME: i'm just waiting for photosynthesis 
[오후 9: 25:49] 구준표: ents have ent-wives don't they? 
[오후 9: 26:05] 구준표: where is yout ent-wife? 
[오후 9: 23:32] ME:my harabuji is looking for her

* so here's what happens when we try to fuse lord of the rings and boys over flowers

15 movies

..tina tagged me in her post "15 movies." for directions kindly look for her post...hehe

1. armageddon
2. lord of the rings (series)
3. harry potter (series)
4. the notebook
5. hatchiko
6. free willy
7. lassie
8. the lion king
9. the corpse bride
10. baby and me
11. speed
12. matrix
13. picture of dorian gray
14. doubt
15. love in time of cholera

epfour part 2

20/09 my top ear candies

. i received a notification in my facebook account that my highschool classmates
are planning to have a reunion this december.\
. i don't know how concrete the plan was but im not yet sure of attending.The
three things i consider for my attendance are:

*schedule (december 26--yep immediately after christmas...but it's a sunday so
i guess...)
*money (it's always a factor)
*people (it really depends on the crowd...i don't want to waste my money 
and time meeting former classmates i don't like to be with... hey c'mon. i'm
sure most of us have our fair share of conflicts. and if there's an award i 
didn't receive and didn't work for in highschool, that is Ms. friendship)

. reminiscing my highschool days made me listen to these songs all day:

1. five for fighting- superman
2. brian mcknight- win
3. westlife- evergreen
4. nsync- this i promise  you
5. bsb- drowning
6. o'town- painter
7. the calling- stigmatized
8. westlife- world of our own
9. linkin park- numb
10.the corrs- breathless

.a number of boybands domited this list since those boybands themselves invaded
the philippines when i was in highschool.


plushie adventures with joycee

hello plushie.
meet joyce and knack


1309 my top ear candies

  1. Daughtry- September
  2. Train- When I look to the Sky
  3. BIGBANG- Shouts of Red (kpop)
  4. SS501- Bye Bye (kpop)
  5. Beverley Knight- Shoulda woulda coulda
  6. Brian McKnight- Win
  7. Bowling for Soup- When We Die
  8. BIGBANG- 거짓말 (kpop)
  9. SS501- A Song Calling for You (kpop)
  10. LIFEHOUSE- Whatever it takes


epfour charicatures


..2010 recollections..
...everything started with boys before flowers


the locks...yes, the locks

How fast does your hair grow?

Im not sure how fast mine grows but it sure is slow. Yes, I have a new hairstyle. I got it last July. The hairstylist didnt touch the length of my hair though. If I would start counting from the last month I really had a hair cut, then I would have one year and two months. Given this period, you might expect that my hair reaches my waist and thats what I thought too. But no. From the shoulder-length, it grew two or three inches longer. Quite a development right.

I couldnt remember what my science teacher had said about hair growth. I can only remember that we lose 100 strands per month (please check me). I sure lose a lot of strands. Sometimes I kid around saying I have cancer (Im not being pathetic, its just coincidental that I was born under the Cancer sign so I think I have every right to have it as a jokesorry for the sensitive persons). However, losing several locks of hair doesnt contribute to the fact that I have a slow hair growth. They may have the same cause though.

Its a good thing that Im not really depressed these days otherwise I would really go for nasty haircuts just like what I usually do when irritated. Its a good thing as well that I itch having a new haircut because there is a good style I want to try for myself. WhewI still cant have it given this situation. 

there always is a price to pay

...even the simple joy of watching the play of lights--whether stars or lamp posts--means several minutes of in-productivity...which is totally not OK for a workaholic society.

> shot: 21 february 2010
> samsung star gs-5233


ways to deal with The Indifferent

People don’t have to tell you they don’t like you. You just know that they don’t. They don’t talk to you. They don’t want to spend time with you. They don’t give you a fraction of their time. To summarize, they do things you don’t want them to and they don’t do things you want them to. (Game: Please count the number of do’s and don’ts in this entry)

The funny thing is sometimes they treat you as an unimportant piece of their lives for no apparent reason. They just do. Most of the time, without even meaning to—they’re completely unaware or worse, indifferent.

So what’s your next action?

1) Approach them—this is a big NO NO! Whoever told you that approaching these gods actually lead to good results, he is completely mistaken or quite lucky to have found one who returned his greeting. If these cold people want to talk to you, they should have at least showed inkling that they are open. You wouldn’t be having problems in the first place! What about the ‘introverts’? Please forget the idea that they need help—that they need you to reach out to them. These loners are professionally called introverts because they have chosen it. Or they like it. Who are you anyway to try to change their minds to what they are used to? Nah. You are your own superhero—NOT THEIRS. Besides, where did you hear that you can make friends by saying, “Hey, I like you.”

2. Please them—Oh, Please! You’ll only make a fool of yourself. You don’t aim to be their entertainer or worse nanny in the first place, right? If you’ll keep pleasing them, you’ll eventually tire yourself and wonder why. Before you regret it, avoid it. And think about it: if you really can please them, there is no reason for them to blot you out of this world. Here’s the ugly truth (try imagining Gerard Butler saying this): the more you try to please them, the more they resent you.
Effort counts in friendship. But this doesn’t count. You’re not friends yet, Stop dreaming.

3. Ignore them—Who cares? You might think this is the best way but ask yourself: have you ever looked at something you really like to eat? Have you tried ignoring it? If you have experienced the same situation, you know what I mean. The more you try to pay no attention to those persons, the more you think about them, the more you want to talk to them.
Hey! If you want to make them feel they don’t matter, the more you prove that they do, otherwise, you won’t be making an effort.

What is the best way then to deal with the indifferent? LET THEM BE. Greet them if that’s how friendly you are but don’t dare to invade their space bubbles. Why do you like them to be your friends anyway?

What are you so afraid of? That because they aren’t your friends, they might be your enemies? There goes self-importance again! Why would they want to be your enemies? Are you important? You may think so, but they don’t. Believe me. People make enemies of those who they think are of their equal importance—most of the time, superior. Did they hurt you already? Did they show signs of opposing you? Nada. You wished they had, but they didn’t. They are plain indifferent—ok I’ll favor you this time—or ignorant of your existence.

Probably they just don’t have time. Or they have so many friends already they can’t accommodate you anymore. Which one will you favor: people who tell you they are your friends but you end up being the excess baggage or those people who directly show you signs that you can’t really be their friend—they just can’t see you as a potential-friend?