ways to deal with The Indifferent

People don’t have to tell you they don’t like you. You just know that they don’t. They don’t talk to you. They don’t want to spend time with you. They don’t give you a fraction of their time. To summarize, they do things you don’t want them to and they don’t do things you want them to. (Game: Please count the number of do’s and don’ts in this entry)

The funny thing is sometimes they treat you as an unimportant piece of their lives for no apparent reason. They just do. Most of the time, without even meaning to—they’re completely unaware or worse, indifferent.

So what’s your next action?

1) Approach them—this is a big NO NO! Whoever told you that approaching these gods actually lead to good results, he is completely mistaken or quite lucky to have found one who returned his greeting. If these cold people want to talk to you, they should have at least showed inkling that they are open. You wouldn’t be having problems in the first place! What about the ‘introverts’? Please forget the idea that they need help—that they need you to reach out to them. These loners are professionally called introverts because they have chosen it. Or they like it. Who are you anyway to try to change their minds to what they are used to? Nah. You are your own superhero—NOT THEIRS. Besides, where did you hear that you can make friends by saying, “Hey, I like you.”

2. Please them—Oh, Please! You’ll only make a fool of yourself. You don’t aim to be their entertainer or worse nanny in the first place, right? If you’ll keep pleasing them, you’ll eventually tire yourself and wonder why. Before you regret it, avoid it. And think about it: if you really can please them, there is no reason for them to blot you out of this world. Here’s the ugly truth (try imagining Gerard Butler saying this): the more you try to please them, the more they resent you.

Effort counts in friendship. But this doesn’t count. You’re not friends yet, Stop dreaming.

3. Ignore them—Who cares? You might think this is the best way but ask yourself: have you ever looked at something you really like to eat? Have you tried ignoring it? If you have experienced the same situation, you know what I mean. The more you try to pay no attention to those persons, the more you think about them, the more you want to talk to them.

Hey! If you want to make them feel they don’t matter, the more you prove that they do, otherwise, you won’t be making an effort.

What is the best way then to deal with the indifferent? LET THEM BE. Greet them if that’s how friendly you are but don’t dare to invade their space bubbles. Why do you like them to be your friends anyway?

What are you so afraid of? That because they aren’t your friends, they might be your enemies? There goes self-importance again! Why would they want to be your enemies? Are you important? You may think so, but they don’t. Believe me. People make enemies of those who they think are of their equal importance—most of the time, superior. Did they hurt you already? Did they show signs of opposing you? Nada. You wished they had, but they didn’t. They are plain indifferent—ok I’ll favor you this time—or ignorant of your existence.

Probably they just don’t have time. Or they have so many friends already they can’t accommodate you anymore. Which one will you favor: people who tell you they are your friends but you end up being the excess baggage or those people who directly show you signs that you can’t really be their friend—they just can’t see you as a potential-friend?