Savoring the Pain of Heartbreak

“I’m smiling but I’m dying, trying not to drag my feet…” The Script, Nothing

I was one of the Masters of Ceremony in our school assembly. I also needed to manage the WCC Music Club. I tried not to look stressed. I tried not thinking about it. In the deepest recesses of my heart, I knew I couldn’t.

How could I easily break a one-year habit of texting him ‘good morning’? How could I keep myself from wishing him goodnight when it used to be a routine? How could I suddenly cut ties with a person I fell so deeply in love with?

How could he do so much without me?

I even wore a pink dress today…

I tried to smile…

I tried to be happy…

I tried to shrug it off…

But the pain kept on haunting me. The toughest ones came at night when I had to think of how to get through another day without him.

It was hard to breathe.

I only had sleep to numb me and my dreams to keep me from falling apart. If I could, I would stay in those dreams where I could cuddle in his arms and forget everything but him. But I know those dreams could only prepare me for an even tougher pain that the next day has to offer. Nothing more.

I will only have to keep on smiling until I die inside.

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