i am wondering who knack really is

I was in high school when I started to write petty "novelettes" that run from 16-24 episodes. Why episodes? I was thinking of becoming a professional manga writer that time so my plots were episodic--divided into scenes even.

I 'finished' three 'books': MWF Knights which I dedicated to some peers, MickDenz which I did when I was still cheesy and all, and Azalea Azure (Strips of Light) which I am currently editing.

I asked my high school classmates to read my works since I was craving for attention--being a member of the honor society had its advantages and one of them was being socially unaccepted.

It was a good thing that the females reacted good naturedly about them. They were even decent enough to ask me what I planned to do next. Imagine the horror and disappointment I got when I asked the guys to criticize my works.

I would no thave been half so sad had I been close to the girls (which I was but not quite). However, being surrounded by overprotective boys at home, I felt it was asecond nature for me to be close with some of the boys at school.

Close as I was to them, they did not spare me and my humble masterpieces. they did not even glance at them.

Grr.

But my disappointment and frustration is not what I am supposed to write about here.

So moving on...

I settled myself asking girls about what they thought of my projects. They were able to get me through my first 2 works. I was so proud of myself back then that I forgot to breathe and started a new one, Azalea Azure.

Azalea Azure was supposed to be about a transferee adopting to a new school which is somehow similar to the story line of High School Musical. The difference is Azalea doesn't sing. She dances. And she transfered to Centerville High in her third year.

Also, Vim Havey is not the super bascketball player of the school--he's the vice captain unlike Troy Bolton who is always in the limelight.

One of the characters in Azalea Azure (Strips of Light, the edited version of AA is coming soon) is Knack Kaiser who is originally an imitation of Rukawa Kaede of Slam Dunk. He is a freshman competing against Vim in basketball.

knack- ability
kaiser- German emperor

One thing I put into Knack Kaiser is my voice. He is my mouth piece in the story. It is just unnerving that I had to put him somewhere at the 5th chapter just to establish the Azalea-Vim story (I am editing it now, most probably he'll come a little bit earlier).

As far as i can remember, I wasn't really the grade conscious girl that they thought I was. Probably just along the competitive line. Grades don't matter to me much up until now. What I was and still am after is the praise and acknowledgement that go along with the grades. In short, I could not be Azalea.

Next, although I am a fan of basketball, I could not and cannot find the proper words to use in describing the intense emotions evoked by the game. Definitely unlike Vim Havey. For his character I had and have to consult my brothers, watch NBA, and rewatch events in Slam Dunk.

So where does Knack come in. He comes in at the part when things become cofusing. He was and still is the silent type. One that intimidates without doing anything. That is how I like to picture myself. All my frustrations, all my angst and all my moodswings are vented out through him.

At the time my classmates read the (original) chapter 5, they figured out one thing.

Before I graduated from high school, a number of classmates already had tagged me as 'Knack' which was and is an advantage. I need not fuss over people claiming difficulty in pronouncing my name since I have a nickname I can boast. That is one of the reasons I use "knack"

The problem I see now is I am lost in using the name. Am I still to use it when I edit the story or should I use another name?

I am lost: am I trying to live up to the name or I am simply trying to tell every one that there is one one word that sums me up.

not worthless.

but knack.