6.4.10

WHAT IS DIFFICULT IN TAKING YOUR FINAL EXAMS AT THE FRONT ROW BESIDE THE WINDOW*

·         You get to be relaxed…too relaxed you forget that it is your examination day and you are supposed to give an 8-page essay as a response to a simple(as in subject+verb structured) interrogative sentence. Yet you are there, writing something else, thinking of someone else, and doodling your paper with hearts.
·         You forget the time you are supposed to pass the paper. Not tomorrow, not lster in the afternoon, but soon, after two hours. Yet it doesn’t natter to you. You pretend you ask yourself why it doesn’t matter but you don’t really find for an answer. It doesn’t occur to you that you value the wanderings of your brain more than your examination paper.
·         You get to be entertained by simple things. You see the pale blue of the morning sky. You wonder how it feels to be up there. You see people pass by. You wonder why their faces look comic: serious and funny at the same time. You hear the merry laughter of the morning and probably “music” of the idle. You feel happiness from the faceless voices as they try to sing songs in tune but only manage to be a note near to the actual melody.

I could list as many possible reasons as I could. But these I know: what is difficult isn’t being distracted from your paper to the things that surround you. Distraction is a choice; you easily get distracted because you choose not to be focused. And that is not difficult. What is difficult is fighting the feeling of the voiceless regret that you are not there, outside, enjoying the summer sun. Instead, you are locked up in a room. And you remember that you have to pass your final examination paper after two hours.

*I made this amidst my final examination in my first subject, Literature of Emerging Countries. (20 march 2010, 10:20-10-45a.m.)

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