the problem in gaining a certain "reputation" is even though you don't like that label, you feel you are confined in that label and thus you cannot move freely without considering what people will say about you when you put a toe out of the line.
I know a number of persons-in-their-right-minds in all of their glory will raise their brows at this : Why confine yourself? Who's telling you to do that?
For all their rights, I plea to them to re-evaluate themselves and remember if there is really no point in their lives that they aren't affected by this "labelling." (another word for labelling?)
But that is not really my point(for goodness sake, I was inspired to write this entry because of something I really like not dislike).
Somehow, I hate to shatter the image that has somehow became my shadow since I was in third year college. Black has been my trend for some time now. Grunge and alternative music still is still a necessity to perk up my day. But colors start to seep into my system now (not that they didn't really exist in my world. They did, believe me, more than people may ever know). New Music wakes me up in the morning and lulls me to sleep at night...erm...early morning...
This new addiction is what I am not really sure I am proud of to proclaim. I am afraid that The Image that I feel comfortably in would shatter in front of me and I would very much hate to realize that I shattered it myself. I have been keeping this addiction for a very long time already and I can feel it bubbling inside me. There are times that I have already given hints of what this is and I have received different reactions--reactions that are not totally unpleasant. But I find myself trying to protect my Image by hiding this and thus making the addiction into obsession...
Sometimes, it is really better to keep things to myself... and preserve a fraud dignity..