Dear Simonskiey

To this dear person, who manages to smile despite struggles, kudos to you on your ____th birthday.

I hope you'll keep your resolutions. If you can't...then you can't hehe.

I know this is not your most admirable photo but this is a symbol of how a supermodel of pout and grace can come from an extraordinary person like you. Naks.

Happy birthday, te.

guess who

"I hate you, I am fine living without you."

I know I should not be affected of the crap that you did to me. What crap? A "deleting me from your Facebook account" kind of crap. I don't even know why I give a shit about it. All I know is I am affected and I don't know why.

Honestly, I am angrier to myself that I have let you affected me like this. Being deleted or blocked from Facebook accounts of other people doesn't concern me particularly if the feeling is mutual dislike. Only huge attachment can shake me. If I had just known you from some workplace, or met you in a seminar or any other interactive sites, it would not matter. But you? You were a school mate. It was a position not too remote nor familiar.

You, well, I did not resent you. Nor did I like you. It was more of respect that we both lived in different worlds, and somehow these worlds could only collide in the academe.

I felt tension in those days we were stuck in the class together. We had so many similarities and so many differences at the same time-- it sucked. Let us just say that I did not like being overshadowed by you that was why I did my best to prove that I was better.

Well, you could say I should be happy that we won't have any means of communication. I am not. Why?

What irks me is the feeling that without a sweat, you have won in the battle I have prepared for for so long and I haven't had a say in it. Why? Facebook doesn't have this application asking the other party if they want to be deleted.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

You may not have been my friend. You have made yourself my enemy. It is just so unfortunate that you won’t have a taste of how bad I can actually be. I can say you're quite lucky, you have saved yourself just in time.

It will probably take me days to get over this situation. I will definitely think about this from time to time. I will probably ask myself why.

I have to commend you though-- you have done me good. This has made me realize that my pride is more important than you. Damn right it is. I have concluded that losing you is less a harm compared to asking you to add me to your account again. Thank you for teaching me this.

If by chance, you will come upon this blog entry, remember that I have done this knowing that you won't probably read it. And if you have, well congratulations to me. If you have been affected, let's just call it quits.

2011 Top Ear Candies

It has been awhile since I have written something about the songs I listen to. It is just appropriate that before the year ends, I must share those which have made most of my days, and accompanied me through my ups and downs--my 2011 playlist.

10th Departure & Gather (PoT official soundtracks). In the first quarter of 2011, I was addicted to Prince of Tennis. Along with my friends I made up worlds filled with the characters that we liked best and publish them in Fanfiction.net. I used to write fanfics while listening to these songs along with the rest of the tracks from the voice actors of the anime.

9th I Hate You & Ugly (2ne1). In Kpop I am quite YG biased and it all started with Bigbang. I  may not call myself a real Blackjack but one thing I know is I like the songs coming from this group. They have enough spunk and girl power. Though I can only understand bits and pieces of these songs, I can pretty much just settle with the melody.

8th Hands Up (Bigbang). Speaking of YG-biased. I like both Korean and Japanese versions of this song. Every time I listen to this, I feel like having my own concert.

7th Good Day (IU). I find this girl cute. The music video is also cute. I have this funny feeling though that she can be a good substitute for a missing SNSD member any time. But that is just me. The song has a nice feel to it, even though the message is quite sad. It helps that it is not English and I just have to imagine it is a very happy song. I like the bridge part best.

6th Head Over Feet (Alanis Morisette). This song speaks so much about how I started falling in love with the man I see myself growing old with.  It took me years to appreciate this song in its entirety. Now I know that feeling as if the song was written for me or could have been composed by me. Hehe.

5th For Good- (Wicked). "Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun...Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood...who can say if I have been changed for the better but because I knew you...I have been changed for good."  I was in the church when I first heard this song performed then by a member of the music team. Then, Simon recommended the musical Wicked and I found out that this song was a part of it. As soon as I got a copy of the song, I kept on playing it. It's quite addictive particularly if I want to feel lonely (sometimes people like me 'want' to feel lonely, believe it or not). I feel like crying every time I wholeheartedly listen to it while thinking of my beau. Hehe.

4th You Can Count on Me (Default). Since I am using his phone, I get to listen to his playlist and one of the tracks is this. I like it, being alternative/grunge. The lyrics is quite mushy but the melody tones it down. It is one of the songs that I sing to him.

3rd I Believe (Fantasia). I haven't created a playlist for confidence-related songs  but once I do, I'll make sure this is a part of it. I know that I'm pretty arrogant and I don't seem to need this song but from time to time I need a boost for my ego. I may not be at the pinnacle of my career yet (not yet I hope because that would mean I could never go any higher), I know that I am already a step toward it. That is saying something.

2nd Defying Gravity (Wicked). I hate it when people tell me what I can't do. I laugh at those who tell me things that I do best. I think these are the things that I should declare.

"So for those who ground me, take a message back from me...Nobody, in all of Oz, nor wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down."

1st Something Right (Westlife). Although this is a love song and it's nowhere famous last year (I got the song two years ago), this speaks for what I am feeling today. There have been a lot of things I have done in 2011 that are remarkable. I have been to different places, and met different people. I have made so many decisions. I have been turning my life around.

I am still surrounded by tribulations but that doesn't mean I am just going to surrender.  I am still standing.There are things and people that remind me that I am indeed in the right place, in the right situation.

I must be doing something right.

That is about it for my 2011 playlist. I hope I can listen to some real good songs this year. I think I need to revamp my playlist, have enough room for new things. Right.

let criminals run for presidency

That guilty people freely roam around, show their perfect set of teeth on t.v., or run for elections irritates me. I am infuriated that this situation affects me more than those who are in position and are technically being insulted by these criminals. 

How come that justice is very slow when big people are involved and it is a nano-second action in the case of the civilians. It takes years to get an ostentatious politician in jail but it takes only a split second for a police to shoot a suspect--for crying out loud a suspect!-- to death.

One of the biggest issues right now is putting our former president in jail. Why is she given special treatment? 

Prison is one place people are treated equally. At least, that is what I want to believe in. Even innocent people are treated as criminals once in jail. Nobody is rich, nobody is superior. Everyone is guilty. She is guilty. To those who are after the due process, she isn't yet. Just yet. But for the masses, she has long been imprisoned. That is why she should not request for commodities that can make her life in prison more comfortable. A prison, whether or not it is in Veterans', is still a prison and not a hotel. 

I see two things there. Either she is beyond the "Nobody is rich, nobody is superior. Everyone is guilty" principle of jail and she knows it very well and we know it resentfully; or she is an absolute nobody and she wants to stay behind bars forever.

I do get the point that she is sick--neck/back pain, complications of this-that, I honestly won't be surprised if she's "diagnosed" of cancer-- but how many times have we heard those alibis and how many times have our justice system denied sick "criminals." If she is clamoring that it is a part of her rights and it is highly constitutional, then let the other sick criminals have more comfortable precincts because justice is and should be served equally.

She was the former president? Oh pleeeeaaaaaaaase. And so? That puts another meaning to it! How satirical could it be that a leader had paved the way not to success but to corruption of her nation. 

If that is the case then, let all criminals run for presidency.

one percent

Someone: Armo, can you play Neon tonight?


Armo: (bothered) Oh. Um, it's Yael you should talk with. I only go along with his plans. So... talk to Yael.


Someone: Alright, thanks. (walking toward Yael) Hey Yael, Yael. Can you please, please, play Neon.


Yael: Ah, yeah, we can play it but I think people would ... would fall asleep, you know, because, only about one percent of them knows the song--


Someone: And that one percent would be me (laughing).


Yael: (laughing) Right right. I like the song too. It's one of the songs we didn't actually release, and that's the problem, if we play it, they will--


Someone: Right, fall asleep. (walking away) That's ok...thanks.
-----


That someone was me. Hehe.

wcc-40th

 The school I am working for celebrated its 40th foundation day last week. Last Week. Week. Yep. It was a week-long celebration.


During the first two days, some teachers (I am one of them) had decided to call it a free week, and met their classes only to review, or give an announcement. Others used their time to fill in missed classes.


Just imagine a faculty room that used to be crowded and noisy only at lunch was suddenly full of teachers during class hours, updating each other with current events. A handful of teachers huddled in a corner sipping coffee or making grades. That was how "relaxed" we were. Our relaxation was short-lived however since we had to rehearse for the synergy of talents. We, meaning the admin, staff, professors and instructors of the school.

WEDNESDAY


We had to compete against the other campuses of World Citi Colleges. Naturally, in any competition, there must be a unifying motif and ours was red. Since Caloocan campus had the most number of students we dominated the Marikina Sports Complex. It was a bloody stadium.

our students flooded the arena or half of it.
It was a Bloody stadium.

Dicebie

the shirt says it all

 

Miss A

the groovy admin and staff of WCC Caloocan

waiting for the concert to start

 The announcement of winners for that day officially started the events for the night. Unfortunately we didn't get the championship for Cheerdance. I was quite disappointed--no, I was really disappointed, shocked even that we didn't win. Our dancers had been in the competition early, they had even performed earlier than scheduled. They even had a smokin' hot instructor, Edsiey Manalo (pretty biased about this but Eds will remain the best dancer for me. hehe)

Simonskieeey

Simon and I could only look smug after knowing the results. Well, so much for the effort...as always, politics will play a huge role in institutions and organizations and yes I'll keep my mouth shut about that.

Join the Club, preparing for their set.

Sir Jomes, Miss A, Yael, moi, Armo

Sir Alvin told us we could go backstage and meet Spongecola. After having a photo taken with Yael, and Armo, I decided to go home.

THURSDAY

We only rehearsed for our presentation on Friday. Also, I didn't take any photo of the rehearsals. I only remember being so early on that day, and being the lead singer of the choir. We were to perform Rent's "Season of Love" and Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up."

FRIDAY

We still had to wear red. I didn't get the chance to take lots of pictures in the event because the battery of my camera phone had run low. Aside from that, I had to leave early. I was just fortunate that our part was presented early so I got home on time (which means I was able to keep my parents' and my boyfriend's curfew for me). All in all, it has been a good week-long celebration and I am glad I have become a part of it. Who knows when I will be able to join these activities again. Hehe.

  

something right

There are struggles in every job: stress, traffic, fatigue. It has been common to hear people say "there is no 'easy-work'!" Even the "easiest" job there is requires effort, and that in itself is not easy.


I have had my share of tribulations in my three years of working in different companies and institutions. I have learned tons from my experiences, and I am still learning how to overcome my shortcomings. There are moments that I have wanted to give-up-not only once have I handed in my resignation letter. There are also moments of triumph and I am glad to note that they are not rare.


One of these moments is best represented by this photo:

There may be no easy job but there is a sense of accomplishment that comes after every difficult task. Also, I think that the more difficult, more stressful the job is, the higher the sense of accomplishment I receive. 

I know I must be doing something right.*

taken from Westlife's "Something Right"

multicultural breakfast

Yesterday, due to unavoidable circumstances, I could not help but treat myself to a good breakfast. It was raining cats and dogs and I reckoned I had to make myself happy. At 9 am, I fixed my own meal (my mom went for a much needed sleep--fyi, she wakes up at 3:30 am to prepare for my father's arrival) consisting of black coffee, one cup rice and two hotdogs on top, and kimchi.

Yes, kimchi. My mom is an expert in making one now.


The rice bowl is Japanese; kimchi and chopsticks, Korean; rice is Asian;  the viand and coffee, western. Perfect.

Reading Goals and Resolution

Now that Shelfari has ceased being a boring "interactive" website and being just an online library, I am more encouraged to read. 


The website has a Reading Meter now depending on the goal that one sets. For example, my goal this year is to read 10 books (I saw the reading meter too late as in just last month). I have to update my Shelfari every now and then of what I have been reading and when I have finished any.


You might be wondering why I have only ready ten this year... I just cannot remember the other novels I have read and since I don't want to make a fool of myself enumerating the books that I have read years ago, I have only counted the ones I can remember.


My reading goal for next year will be 24 books. I hope I can accomplish it side by side my studies--I am continuing my Masters in summer. That will be hitting two birds with one stone, aye?

pillow and a good sleep

He's not supposed to be the one to give a gift. It was his birthday celebration yesterday after all. I still insisted. I do miss his hug every now and then. hehe.


I still have to look for that shirt though. He might not want anything for his birthday but I still want to give him something hehe.

Ikaw

Nagkataon lang siguro na mahilig akong maggitara at mahilig ka naman magbass. Nagkataon din na naghahanap ka ng kakanta sa banda mo, at naghahanap ako ng ibang mapaglilibangan. Nagkataon din marahil na parehas tayong  naghahanap ng matataguan.


Nagkataon na tamad ka at mautos ako na nagawa mo pang ihatid ako pagkatapos ng una nating pagkikita. Sinorpresa mo ako, siguro pati ang sarili mo. Pero sa mga panahon na yun hindi mo lang yun pinagtuunan ng pansin. Alam ko naman na hindi pa sumasagi sa isip mo ang tungkol dun.


Nagkataon na magsisimula na ako ng panibagong yugto ng aking buhay sa ibang  trabaho. Naroon ka para sumuporta.  Tapos ngayon kasama na kita.


Nagkataon din na pinanganak ka sa araw kasunod ng birthday ng mga lolo't lola ko. Ang galing din tumayming ni Lord. Kung kelan naman halos isumpa ko na ang November, dumating ka pa. Ayos.


Tapos ngayon birthday mo pa. Pinahirapan mo pa ako kasi nagkataong mahirap ka regaluhan samantalang nasurpresa mo na ako nung birthday ko. Pasaway ka talaga.


Ang daming nagkataon, no...pero hindi 'nagkataon' yung title nito. Kasi hindi na yung nagkataon yung tinitingnan ko. Ang nakikita ko na lang yung "ikaw" yung kasama ko sa maraming pagkakataon. Ikaw rin ang magiging kasama ko sa iba pang pagkakataon. Ikaw na rin an nagsabi na yun ang mahalaga.


Isa pa nga palang bagay na hindi lang nagkataon: mahal kita.

Thanks, Bobby P.

Last long weekend I conquered Pendragon 1 Merchant of Death. It was an accomplishment. I finished reading everything in less than 24 hours .

This definitely means I am back to my college days reading rate. Way back in the University, I could devour one book a day and back then, I did not sleep just to finish one.

Due to work loads and other engagements I wasn't able to catch up on my reading and from "one book a day" I went to one to two books a month .

Bobby Pendragon has saved me, thank heavens.

Reading plays a very important role in my life and this pace means so much to me. As an English teacher, I always have to update my "English" since I am not an American. Secondly, as a person, there are things I still don't know, there are concepts I haven't come across with and since I have decided to take up writing seriously, I have to broaden my horizon without buying a plane ticket. Not to mention I have boxes of unread books at home-- a perfect reason for me why I should have a faster reading rate.

This week I am not sure if I can still keep up but I'll do my best, I have to juggle reading with my responsibilities in school so if I cannot read a book a day, I should read one to two books a week.

I guess that is a good deal.

ratio

A person's value is measured by the ratio of how he sees himself and how others give importance to him. Sometimes, one part is bigger than the other which in both ways, if perceived extremely, is negative. If he gives too much importance in himself while his peers don't give him the "right" amount of attention he desires, he might find himself disappointed and consider his friends falling short his expectations.

If he doesn’t have much confidence in himself, his friends will try to give him the support he needs. This promise doesn't last, unfortunately because like any other person, friends get tired too, especially when the person they are trying to help cannot help himself nor showing any plan of helping himself.

Being a victim of this measurement, I have witnessed this a lot of times and I know my place in the categories I have given. I may have experienced this but I think I have mastered the knack of putting myself on the more advantageous side or looking like it. I have long accepted that people come and go--I do come and go as I please. I have seen people return in my life. I have also returned to some. I have made friends, I have had enemies. Antis, stalkers...name it. I have made a lot of people feel unimportant, I have done damages but these don’t  mean that I am invulnerable.

Friends I hold dear can hurt me more than they know, more than they should.  However, learning this rule that subtly governs any relationship, I have got used to it and mastered that I know one strategy to keep the tides on my side. What that strategy is, I won't divulge of course. One thing is "fosho" as G-dragon says it, when it comes to this, be it friend or foe, I won't be at the bottom of the food chain. There will be blood in the water.

Mine: past vs. present & future

In the span of our relationship, I have come to realize that putting my eyes on the past will do nothing but leave me in bitterness and anguish. Both of us have memories that haunt us from time to time. At first we couldn't help but ask how we had let those things happen to us. Eventually, we have come to accept that without the past, we probably wouldn't have each other.

If he doesn't let his past hinder our relationship, why should I let it?

If he is already looking at the future with me, why should I keep on looking back? If this would keep up, we would find ourselves not moving on, much worse, ending our relationship.

Yes, the past must be remembered but it must not be lived. If I really want to be with him, if I want to be happy being with him, I must not always bring up the past. I must make more memories with him that will put the past as a permanent shadow, not even as important as the present. If that is how I value him and our relationship my eyes should be looking at what can make us happy.

Maybe I have not realized them on my own at all. It helps that he always reassures me that no matter what happens, the fact remains that he has chose me. And in God's name, he is mine.

test

‎"One never learns how the witch became wicked, or whether that was the right choice for her—is it ever the right choice? Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? It is at the very least a question of definitions."--Oatsie, Wicked

getting ready for the semester

korean cuisine for less

Just for a change, Russ and I searched for a different cuisine yesterday night. We wanted to have a break from the usual fast food chains and inexpensive restaurants so our eyes were focused on a cheap but filling and delicious meal. What we did was venture into the different world of SM North Edsa Foodcourt.

Of course, like any usual Filipino that wasn't the first time we had gone there whether alone or together. If there was one part of the mall anybody can get his money's worth, it's that place...downside, he has the tendency to smell like foodcourt once he gets out. 

I proposed that we go around looking for different food, not the ones we could easily eat at home. As we were walking, two stores captivated my eyes and tastebuds. One was the tokpokki stall and the other was Mr. Kimbob. At that moment, my brain stopped working, my eyes stopped looking for other stores. 

bibimbap

tokpokki

Russ was amazed at how Koreans cook and eat their food after I had shared some Korean two-cents to him.

The meal was awesome but I wasn't able to finish my share of bibimbap because it was more than enough. I even had to ask for gochujang because the cook had not been able to season the dish with its real "sauce."

I actually thought we had the meal for a discounted price. Had we gone to real Korean restaurants it would have cost us a bill. 

Wicked... and Simon

Ever since Simon shared to me a song from the musical WICKED, I got hooked, I downloaded the rest of the songs from the said musical, saw some parts in Youtube and got crazy looking for the Ebook only to find out that I had downloaded the ebooks months ago and it has been in my hard drive all along.

Wicked, by the way for those who are new to Gregory Maguire's fictions, is a fanfiction (I prefer using that word) of L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, focusing on the wicked witch of the west, not to mention green, Elphaba.

I have been trying to read it for two days now using my phone. I have a problem with the font though because it is tiny. Of course I can zoom it any time I want but that means using the left and right button which is bothersome. I want the text to at least fit the screen decently. This however is uncontrollable, the ebook being in pdf file and made by someone I do not know to whom I must give credit. What is controllable is the type of phone that I use...which is far from being replaced, as far as November is from December. The only thing I can do is bear reading the 612-page ebook. I am on 254 by the way, not that far from the glorious ending.

The book seems very different from the play and even from the book and I am bothered by its highly political inclination since I have always interpreted Wizard of Oz as children's literature.  However as they say, children's lit have more sense than how they look so probably there is sense in the politics and religion I am being bombarded with in the book.

I will try my best looking for the play because I am totally mesmerized by Kristin Chenoweth's and Idina Menzel's voices.

idina menzel (elphaba, green) and kristin chenoweth (galinda, fair)

Since this is all Simon's fault, I will attempt to bully him in giving me a copy. I will try. Simon is not the type that I can exactly bully because he is a dear. And I cannot blame him for bewitching me into liking this musical because, well it's likable. Hmf. But I really have to have my hands on the musical so Simon, please, I think a loooooong blog entry about this whole Wicked thing is enough a clue that I want the musical. Please.

happy birthday duo

One of the closest persons in my life celebrates her birthday today. If I were to celebrate All Souls' Day, I would do so, thinking of her, thanking God for a good soul that I have come across with.

yeah, i know, the picture is quite old. hehe

Happy birthday dearest Duo, Katherine E. Vera. May you have more fruitful years ahead of you.